I Owe My Mother

[cruiser2]

My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done: "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I have just finished cleaning."
My mother taught me religion:"You had better pray that will come out of the carpet."
My mother taught me about logic: "Because I said so, that's why"
My mother taught me about time travel:" If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
My mother taught me more logic."If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
My mother taught me foresight. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you are in an accident."
My mother taught me irony. "Keep crying, and I will give you something to cry about."
My mother taught me about the science of osmosis. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
My mother taught me about contortion-ism." Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck."
My mother taught me about stamina. "You will sit there until that spinach is all gone."
My mother taught me about weather. " This room of your looks like a tornado went through it."
My mother taught me about hypocrisy." If I told you once, I have told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
My mother taught me the circle of life. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
My mother taught me about behaviour modification. " Stop acting like your father!"
My mother taught me about envy. " There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do"
My mother taught me about anticipation. " Just wait until we get home."
My mother taught me about receiving. " You are going to get it when you get home!"
My mother taught me about medical science. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way. "
My mother taught me humor. " When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
My mother taught me how to become an adult. " If you don't eat your vegetables, you will never grow up."
My mother taught me genetics. "You're just like your father."
My mother taught me about my roots. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
My mother taught me wisdom. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
My mother taught me about justice. "One day you'll have kids and I hope they turn out just like you!".
My mothet taught me about choice. " Do you want me to stop this car?"

[JoM]

[Ally]

[Aggers]

Thanks, Cruiser.

I had read that before some time ago, but it made me laugh again.

The point is that I'm sure my mother said some of those things when I was a lad.

[JoM]

I'm pretty sure that I've said some of them Aggers

[Kaz]

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My mum was always saying that! If we oinked or mooed in response we got a thick ear