... as narrated to me yesterday by my ex-work colleague, Richard.
Richard and Anca have been married for many years, and Anca, as many of Eastern European origin, takes the Christmas Fesrtival very seriously. It seems, however, that it falls upon Richard to buy all the Christmas cards each year, as (I'm guessing here) they may not have the Western tradition of exchanging Christmas Cards in Romania. This task includes choosing not only his card to her, but also buying her card for him! Strange I know, but there you go.
So off goes Richard into town in early December, finds the Christmas Card rack in the local supermarket, and spots a very nice card of the "To My Darling Wife" variety. This he picks, and in the next slot is a "Husband" card so he quickly grabs it, and goes to the checkout, job done.
Come Christmas Eve, Richard digs out the cards, signs his to Anca and gives Anca the "Husband" card for her to sign to him.
(Please excuse the cod Eastern European accent, but the exchange goes something like this):
Anca looking rather puzzled: "Rishard, did you choose this card for me to sign?"
"Yes, my dear".
"Deed you actually read it when you bought it?"
"Yes ... no .... I can't remember. What's wrong with it?"
"I think you should read eet now ...."
On the front:
"To my Darling Husband ....."
Fine!
But on the inside:
".... from your Gay Lover.
I'm SO PROUD of you that we Came Out Together."
When I finally recovered from being doubled-up with hysterical laughing, I asked him:
"Where on Earth in Bridport did you manage to get a card like that?"
"From the flamin' Co-Op! Do you think I should go and ask for my money back?"