Vocal Voices

The priest in a small Irish village loved the rooster and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church. One Sunday morning, before mass,he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing.

He knew about cock fights in the village,so he questioned his parishioners in church.
...
During mass, he asked the congregation,'Has anybody got a cock?'

All the men stood up.

'No, no,'he said,'that wasn't what I meant.Has anybody seen a cock?'

All the women stood up.

'No, no,'he said, 'that wasn't what I meant.Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?'

Half the women stood up.

'No, no,'he said,'that wasn't what I meant.Has anybody seen MY
Cock?'
Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up.

The priest fainted.

Norty boy

I used to know a local vicar who kept poultry.

One day two of his birds escaped from the vicarage and ran off.

The vicar ran down the street shouting, 'Please, someone grab my cock and pullet'.

He left the parish soon after.