Vocal Voices

SIGNS OF THE TIMES

Here are some signs spotted at various businesses,
proving that a sense of humour is still to be found:

Plumber
We repair what your husband fixed.
Don’t sleep with a drip, call our plumber.

Pizza Shop
Seven days without a pizza makes one weak.

Tyre Fitters
Invite us to your next blow-out.

Plastic Surgeons office
Can we pick your nose?

Psychic’s Hotline
Don’t call us, we’ll call you.

Towing Company
We don’t charge an arm and a leg.
We want tows.

Road-side sign
Keep your eyes on the road
and stop reading this sign.

Electricians
Let us remove your shorts.

Non-smoking area
If we see smoke we will assume you are on fire
and will take appropriate action.

Maternity ward door
Push, push, push.

Optician
If you can’t see what you are looking for
you’ve come to the right place.

Taxidermist’s window
We really know our stuff.

Chiropodist
Time wounds all heels.

Butcher’s window
Let me meat your needs

House door
Salesmen Welcome
Dog food is expensive.

Car Dealer
The quickest way to get back on your feet
is to miss a car payment.

Hotel
Vacancies. We need inn-experienced people.

Company Reception
We shoot every third salesman - and the second one has just left.

Vet’s Waiting Room
Back in five minutes
Sit! Stay!

Electric Company
We are delighted when you pay your bill.
If you don’t, you will be.

Computer shop door
Out for a quick byte.

Restaurant window
Don’t stand there hungry,
Come in and get fed up.

Bowling Alley
Please be quiet.
We need to hear a pin drop.

Funeral Parlour
Drive carefully.
We can wait.