Genders
Posted: 18 Nov 2014, 13:49GENDERS
Unlike some foreign languages, English does not assign gender to nouns.
When we are fully integrated into the EU (God forbid) we may have to!
Here are some ideas of how we could solve the problem:
1. Hammers -- are Male, because they haven't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but are handy to have around.
2. Photo Copiers -- are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again.
It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed,
but can wreak havoc if the wrong ones are pushed.
3. Tyres -- are Male, because they go bald and are often over-inflated.
4. Sponges -- are Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.
5. Hot Air Balloons -- are Male, because, to get one to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it,
Then, of course, there's the hot air part.
6. Web Pages -- are Female, because they're always getting hit on.
7. Railways -- are Male, because they use the same old lines to pick people up.
8. Hourglasses -- are Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
9. Remote Controls -- are Female…Ha! you thought they'd be male, but consider this --
they give a man pleasure, he'd be lost without one,
and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to press, he does keep trying.
Unlike some foreign languages, English does not assign gender to nouns.
When we are fully integrated into the EU (God forbid) we may have to!
Here are some ideas of how we could solve the problem:
1. Hammers -- are Male, because they haven't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but are handy to have around.
2. Photo Copiers -- are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again.
It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed,
but can wreak havoc if the wrong ones are pushed.
3. Tyres -- are Male, because they go bald and are often over-inflated.
4. Sponges -- are Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.
5. Hot Air Balloons -- are Male, because, to get one to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it,
Then, of course, there's the hot air part.
6. Web Pages -- are Female, because they're always getting hit on.
7. Railways -- are Male, because they use the same old lines to pick people up.
8. Hourglasses -- are Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
9. Remote Controls -- are Female…Ha! you thought they'd be male, but consider this --
they give a man pleasure, he'd be lost without one,
and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to press, he does keep trying.
