Mangling the language.

[Workingman]

A police officer commenting on a shooting started four sentences with "I would ask...", "We would like to reassure...", "We can confirm...", and "I would advise...".

What is it with petty officials and the use of conditional modal verbs? Do they think it sounds good?

If they want to "ask", "confirm" or "advise" then come out and say so, and if they want to "reassure" it would be wise for them to have "assured" us first.

I could get quite passive-aggressive about this and start using split infinitives, and that is something with which we should not have to put up.

[meriad]

I had to read this five times and look up what a modal verb is before I could even attempt to reply

But I'll boldly go where angels fear to tread and would like to reassure you - we mean no harm

[Workingman]

But I'll boldly go where angels fear to tread and would like to reassure you - we mean no harm

I assure you that whether or not you mean harm you will get a slap. Brum 2020, bring you own ice pack.