The Random Thread

[Workingman]

Jo, get an electrician in and put his room on a timer controlled by you, then switch him 'on' or 'off' depending on his behaviour... or get a stool.

[meriad]

If you and John are both in agreement, then you need to have a sit down with him and tell him no more.

It's a tough one because he knows he in a way has the upper hand. Short of either slapping him (he knows you're not allowed to do that and given his attitude I wouldn't put it past him to report you if you did that) or kicking him out (he knows you won't do that) there isn't much else one can really do.

Do you do things for him, ie laundry, providing toiletries, cleaning etc? If yes then stop all those things. Change the Wifi Password so he can't access it. Give him tasks to do in the house (empty bins, washing up after dinner / packing the dishwasher) and if he doesn't do any of that then stop cooking for him. Tough love, but it's your house and he needs to know he has to abide by your's and John's rules - not you by his

[Workingman]

Jo, Ria, unlike me, talks perfect sense. It is your house so your rules - accept or face the consequences. If Tom does not like he is free to move out, get his own place, and then do as he pleases. It will cost him, but he will be free of your ultra draconian rules and regs.

[Kaz]

Ria is spot on! Becky pays board, cleans her own room and bathroom, and does her own laundry - although I do occasionally do a bit of hers if I'm doing mine and she asks nicely. I cook, but then that's probably for the best

Tom is a grown man and needs to start acting like one, rather than an overgrown teenager.

I know it's tricky, I had a few issues with Chris when he was younger, so do appreciate how difficult it can be ((((x))))

[JanB]

We've talked about similar things before and you must make a stand now Jo.

It is your home, not a battleground.

I'd give him a month to sort himself out, lay down the ground rules, pay on time, help around the house - whatever you and John want and need him to do.

If he carries on, then out he goes.

[saundra]

Think we have all had issues with teenagers I have but most of today's
Generation expect to much ground rolls are needed and quick

[JoM]

I'll get John to have a word, although he prefers to just let things go and not have any feathers ruffled. The way I'm feeling I'm liable to make things worse, I ended up walking out and spending a few hours walking around town at stupid o'clock after an argument with Tom just before Christmas and it's too bloody cold to do that now.

His bit of water (and ice) on the drive is nothing compared to what's on the close now though. The house opposite have had their conservatory (it's just three or four years old) removed and are having an orangery built instead. For a start the parking from the builders has been horrendous all week, they've double parked around the corner that we're on, making a very narrow single 'lane' around a blind corner, our house is right on the corner so it's not like there's a front garden for drivers to see across to look for anyone coming the other way.
This afternoon they're having a clean up and there's been a builder standing on the road with a hose pipe for at least 45 minutes while another has swept and the water's just running down the road.

[JanB]

Words fail

[JoM]

Saw some books in Waterstones earlier which I thought Tom would like for his birthday - one about Hitler's Germany through the eyes of the citizens at the time and one about Trump's America by Jon Sopel. I looked on Amazon and they were cheaper so while I sat on the bus at 12.50pm I placed an order for them.
Just over four hours later they're out for (free) delivery and are four stops away.

[JoM]

Everyone's out so I'm listening to Duran Duran LOUD without being ridiculed