Vocal Voices

… those loud bangs?
Yes
No
What were they?
Fireworks!
Fireworks??
FIREWORKS!!!
Why?
It's not Bonfire Night
It's not Diwali
What's Diwali?
Where were they?
Up the town
Up by the surgery
At the golf club
We don't have a golf club!
Oh at the rugby club sorry my mistake
We can hear them here
We can hear them in Shaftesbury
we can hear them in Knoyle
we can hear them in Mere
We can hear them in WESTON SUPER MARE !!
Where are they?
Milton on Stour!
Why?
It's a birthday party
It's a 60th
No, it's a 70th
No, it's a 60th - I got invited!
Why wasn't I invited??
It's to celebrate Brexit
&$%*%$$£!
*&%££$%&!!
(Moderator) Can we please keep on topic?
Yes
No
We WERE on topic!
We could have been warned …...
My kids have woken up
My dog's barking
My cat's afraid
All my horses have bolted
All my sheep have turned upside down! It'll take hours putting them upright!
My skunk's TERRIFIED!
I blame the water voles .....
It's illegal!
No it isn't
Yes it is
It's legal until 11:00
It's 11:02
It's 10:57!
It's 11:56!!
You forgot we're on British Summer Time
No I haven't
(Meme) Oh The Drama!
(Moderator) I think we're going to close this thread .....

...........

If you think I've just made all that up and I'm hugely exaggerating - well, it's actually a pretty good precis of the threads on my home town's FB page from 10:45 to 11:05pm last night .......

Don't you just love Facebook?

I take it that not much usually happens in Ostrichland of a Saturday night... except for the sheep turning, that is.

Our village FB is amazing, but not in a particularly good way.
Every other day without fail, someone asks for recommendations. Exactly the same recommendations in fact, the someone else asked for 48 hours since! Very often about someone to fix a washing machine. Can't they read? How many times to people need telling?
Or, they ask for a recommendation about caravan storage. They get given the place and name. Then they say thanks, do you have the phone number. They are given the phone number. Then they say thanks, do you know how much they charge...
FFS! Would you like someone to come round snd show you how to put your socks on??
My favourite this week though is the request to recommend a good pizza takeaway, and the person who replied and recommended a curry house...

Looks better than my local Longlevens FB noticeboard - Longlevens being my suburb of Gloucester - as that seems to be mostly complaints about parking and dog mess

Workingman wrote:I take it that not much usually happens in Ostrichland of a Saturday night... except for the sheep turning, that is.

We also do sheep turning in Yorkshire.

If a sheep is heading west it is turned eastwards and sent on its way.

However, I do understand that other 'methods' are in operation in Wales and the West Country, though whether they are legal is debatable. Ossie might be able to inform us.

Workingman wrote:Ossie might be able to inform us.

The system, as I understand it, is that if you see an upside down sheep in a field, you must pull in at the nearest safe parking space, go back and turn it upright.

If you can't, it is obligatory to post about it (with location and photo if possible) on the FB Page

Three things then happen on FB:
a) There will be a shout out to the farmer who will report back in 1 hour's time that he's "sorted it".
b) You will receive grief for not stopping and turning it right way up yourself ….
c) It will be blamed on either (i) the local yoof or (ii) the water voles.

The water voles get blamed for most things round here ……

Workingman wrote:
However, I do understand that other 'methods' are in operation in Wales and the West Country, though whether they are legal is debatable. Ossie might be able to inform us.

"Wales - where men are men, and sheep are nervous.... "