Oh dear! My heart bleeds purple p1ss.
Poor bankers, they will have their bonuses capped at 1 x annual pay.
The provisional agreement.... means bankers face an automatic bonus cap set at a par with their salaries.
That can be raised to twice their pay packet only if a majority of the bank's shareholders vote in favour.
The rules will apply to all banks - American, Asian, Russian or European - based in Europe, and to units of European banks located abroad, so a Deutsche Bank employee working in New York or Tokyo would be subject to the same limits.
Equally, a Goldman Sachs banker in London, Frankfurt or anywhere else in the European Union would be covered.
"There will be no exceptions," said Othmar Karas, the Austrian lawmaker who helped negotiate the deal. "It goes for all banks inside and outside the European Union and for all foreign banks inside the European Union."
The cap has been somewhat softened by provisions for adjusting the value of long-term non-cash payments to bankers, so that more bonuses can be paid out over time without breaking through the new ceiling.
And when the G20 group introduces Basel III, later in 2014, the banks will have to have concrete capital assets ring-fenced against the spivs.
A toast to the EU and G20.