Modern cars

[cromwell]

Our car is now 14 years old and is getting harder for me to get in and out of (62 years old and my hips and back aren't getting any better), plus it doesn't have Isofix mountings for a baby seat.

So I've been browsing the car ads and it is a bit alarming.

I'd like a petrol engined car with a torque converter gearbox, big enough to carry four in reasonable comfort for short distances. BUT, It's difficult to buy a newish version of such a car without getting 99 different things I don't need or want!

Such as:-

Adaptive cruise control
Autonomous emergency braking
Automatic climate control
Blind spot detection system
Bluetooth with voice control (?)
Daytime running lights
"Infotainment", what ever that is
Tyre pressure monitoring system
Lane departure warning system
Parking sensors front and rear
"Self parking"
Rear camera (actually this is a good idea)
Speed limiter
Engine Stop / Start
Keyless entry....

What is all this stuff???

My mate has a Seat with stop / start and it nearly killed him, cutting the engine as he entered a roundabout.

It would be better if you just pick what you want and leave the rest, but this doesn't seem to be possible.

[Workingman]

But these things are essential for the modern motorist - mobile phones on wheels. Turn on ignition, turn off brain.

When I bought my one and only new car, an Audi 80 GLS, the option list was short:

Engine size
Carb or injection
Paint colour
Trim colour
Tinted glass or not
Sunroof or not
Alloy wheels or not, and size
Bench or 2:1 split rear seat

Everything else bog standard. Easy peasy. It even had indicators as standard, and they worked!

[Suff]

What is all this stuff???

assuming this is not a rhetorical tic comment...

Adaptive cruise control As it says, you set the cruise control and it adapts to the traffic. Set it to 70mph and if a car pulls out on you, it will slow down to the speed of the car in front, with a reasonable braking distance, then speed up to your selected cruise speed when it is gone. My best man was working on this for Ford 30 years ago.

Autonomous emergency braking It uses the parking sensors. If you are coming up on something fast and it is not moving, it will apply the brakes. Like Fog for instance.
Automatic climate control Set the temp and it controls the "climate" in the vehicle to meet it. The essential difference between climate control and aircon is that climate control has more sensors

Blind spot detection system Again, using the parking sensors, detects if a car is approaching you when you try and pull out into the other lane. It issues a warning.
Bluetooth with voice control (?) Yep you just can't get away from it. If you connect a Bluetooth device to the car it lets you talk to it. I know, I know, every time any voice activated stuff kicks off on me I respond "go away".

Daytime running lights It is a set of lights which fit between side lights and main lights. It replaces the old "dim dip" and is there to allow you to meet EU country regulations on daylight lighting without blowing your headlights every 6 months to a year
"
Infotainment, what ever that is If you were anywhere from 12 to 25 you would know. In short, entertainment and information using a blend of radio, onboard media and your mobile... If present..

Tyre pressure monitoring system Tyre pressure monitors in the valves. Mildly useful.. When it is all working.

Lane departure warning system It uses camera's front and back to determine if you are changing lane or not and sensors on the steering wheel to detect if it thinks you are doing this on purpose or just wandering/falling asleep. It gives a warning.
Parking sensors front and rear This has to be TIC The rear sensors are quite good. Front are a real PITA if they can't be turned off..
"Self parking" Exactly. Press button and it does.
Rear camera (actually this is a good idea)
Speed limiter Part of the cruise control system. You can set it to keep a speed or you can set it to not exceed a speed. My father uses the limiter around town a lot
Engine Stop / Start This is supposed to be a good idea which saves fuel. In reality it is the most bloody annoying thing I have ever used. I stopped using the hand brake on the Citroen Z4 I was renting to stop it from switching the engine off every time the handbrake came on. I just put the clutch in and left my foot on the brakes. It did everything wrong, put the parking brake on when it felt like it, started and tried to drive off when it felt like it and, generally, annoyed the hell out of me..

Keyless entry.... It is a proximity system. Have key in pocket, walk to car, open door (unlocked), press start button. Go. The thieves worked out how to scan for your RFID code and emulate it. Allowing them to enter the car with an emulator, press the start button and drive off. Deep Joy...

Any happier with the full description. Sometimes it is better not to know...