What it comes down to Debih is laws and trade.
Our laws have become tied up with the EU for decades. Agreements on being able to land planes in the EU, for our companies to supply services in the EU (consider Easyjet and their intra EU flights), plus a range of international agreements we entered into with the EU, which are no longer ratified by us.
Unlike the scouts, you make binding international trade agreements with the EU.
We gave up our sovereignty to allow the EU to negotiate this stuff on our behalf. Now, both for the UK AND the EU, these things need to be sorted out.
The EU has insisted that they will ONLY discuss this in a trade deal. That they won't discuss these things outside of a trade deal and therefore blocked us from sorting out the day to day details everyone needs to be fixed. The reason is obvious. If you can cause total havoc if a trade deal is not agreed, then you can force the other party to bow down and surrender.
Unfortunately for the EU, we have no bowed down and surrendered so a whole raft of laws, agreements and ability to access each others countries is sitting on the table being ignored. It will impact everyone and cause total mayhem, but that is the EU, not the UK. We asked to negotiate them independently and they refused.
Then there is trade.
They sell us more than we sell them.
We can buy almost anything they sell to us from other markets and many of them will be cheaper. Cheaper because the EU puts trade barriers up.
The EU won't be able to buy goods they bought from the UK cheaper elsewhere because they apply tariffs. The highest tariff the EU has is 110%. More than double the cost of the thing being sold. This is done to keep others out and trade within the EU.
The EU NEED a deal so that UK goods don't suddenly become massively more expensive and disrupt their trade.
The UK could DO with a trade deal so that UK goods don't suddenly attract large tariffs and damage our trade. But, get this, we have options to source our imports elsewhere. The EU do not. Not on the same terms as they have today anyway.
But we can also buy goods outside of the EU, many of the same quality but lower price. If anyone thinks Argentinian beef is not of good quality they are kidding themselves. If Irish beef suddenly attracts a 74% tariff, then shipping beef from Argentina will become routine. The Argentine Peso $ is almost in freefall, prices drop constantly.
When you are in a golf club or Scouts, this is something peripheral to your life. It doesn't set laws on how you behave outside the club, set bounds on what you can do outside the club and certainly doesn't insist that it controls your life once you leave so that it can keep on sucking your money in.
Brexit is NOTHING like leaving a club, they were right about that. It is advanced international diplomacy and the EU is going at it like a bull in a china shop. Which is why it takes the EU 10 years to agree a trade deal the UK can do in 6 months.
This does not mean it will not cost either side pain. It will cost both sides pain. But, as things continue, that pain will reduce and we will become used to our new life.
Beware anyone trying to stampede you off a cliff. They are not doing it for your own benefit.
We are choosing to jump. What the EU never expected was that we would jump. Even less did they expect we would drag them over the edge with us.
It will be interesting to see who has the harder landing.