Vocal Voices

A couple of weeks ago alcohol was going to do us all in (again).
Then last week it was bacon and sausages that were going to help the Grim Reaper cut a swathe through us all.
This week we've had a Brucie bonus - firstly anti-biotic resistant superbugs were going to decimate the population and this morning we had Professor Neverheardofthebloke informing us that suger is officially now more dangerous than the Black Death.

My bet is that next week will see yet another anti-alcohol story.
Quite right, too. I have a bottle of wine in the cupboard and I know for a fact that if I drop it, the resulting explosion will take out half the street!

You forgot smoking. Smoking does not only kill the smoker it gets everyone within ten miles, especially children and cuddly animals. Car exhaust fumes, on the other hand, are a welcome mix of efficacious compounds.
Flying is also dangerous. Falling out of the sky will kill you, obviously, but having all your blood sucked into your ankles at take-off is deadly. Apparently, sticking your legs in the air at take-off is not the answer especially if you have forgotten your knickers.
Then there's old age - the biggest killer of the lot. Dame Eliza Donothing of the Health Board says that the government is looking into the problem with a view preventing people reaching old age.

WM, it is not the falling which can kill you. It is stopping at the bottom.
As I keep saying to my doctor I am not becoming a monk at my age. I am still going to have and enjoy alcoholic drinks, chocolate and other sweets and cakes. There are other enjoyable things but I willkeep the party clean as there are ladies present.

What's going to kill us next week? I bought 2 bottles of Ultimate Bug Spray (leaf beetles munching the red robinia ) today at Asda - and one of them leaked inside the shopping trolley ......

Just told Master O that his bacon & egg sarnie for tomorrow's lunch will now probably kill off all greenfly in a 10 metre radius of his desk .....

They say making love in an aeroplane at 30k feet can be deadly, then what about walking, you could be run over at any time.

Food is a killer. Research carried out by Cleckheaton College of Cookery and Catering showed that 98.67% of the population died having eaten food. The remainder starved to death.