… to paraphrase the Graham Greene novel!
Just a quick introduction to the nether regions of English soccer. Forget yer Premiership, Championship and Leagues 1 and 2, i.e. all yer moneybags teams. This is all about the Non-League soccer pyramid, Steps 1 to 7 and beyond …
The top tier of non-league footie is the Conference, well not quite so, this season it’s been rebranded as the Vanarama National League. (Apparently if you hire a van from the sponsors, I think they donate £100 to your club). No moneybags teams here, apart from Forest Green Rovers, they’re owned by a vegan millionaire and they don’t sell meat pies at halftime.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gl ... e-12416671
Step 2 is National Leagues North and South, in which you’ll find languishing former League teams like Stockport County, the reincarnation of Bradford Park Avenue, and up and coming usurpers like FC United of Manchester, which was formed in 2005 by disgruntled Man Utd fans when the American Glazers Brothers took over the main club, and now play in a brand-new £6.5m 4,400 capacity stadium at Broadhurst Park in North Manchester.
Steps 3 and 4 are the old traditional Northern, Southern and Isthmian Premier Leagues, and their divisions. Evo-stik sponsor the former two leagues, Ryman Stationers the latter, and the sponsorship is pretty up front. Locally, Chasetown had a 10 foot long mock-up of a tube of glue perched on top of their club offices , I don’t know if it’s still there, and a couple of seasons back at Daventry Town, I had to sit through a long pre-match tannoy announcement extolling the virtues of Calor Gas and where the nearest stockists were (Northampton from memory).
Steps 5 and below are all the local leagues within the pyramid, like the West Midlands (Regional) League (125 years old, last season), the East Midlands Counties League, the Hellenic League, the North West Counties League, so on …. By the time you’re down to Step 7B, you’re possibly watching your game at a local recreation ground, pitch roped off, ancient clubhouse and grotty changing rooms, in front of one man and a dog – and an Ostrich, of course …..
Anyway, for this 2015/16 season, I’ve got a priority hit list of 25 clubs I’ve not previously seen, in order to complete my various target leagues. They range from Slimbridge to Gedling Miners Welfare to Sandal RUFC – oh yes, there will be a few reports from far-flung fields where the egg-chasers play their game. Two of those target teams were “knocked off” last week, and my season is all planned out on a spreadsheet ….. but the best laid plans of mice and ostriches, as they say ……
.... now read on!