The engine warning light in the car has duly stayed off this week
, so we’re working on the assumption that the on-board computer merely had hiccups. It can’t be very sophisticated, as the Ostrichmobile is well over 10 years old and little more than a cheap runabout, really - none of these high-falutin Audis or BMWs for the bird!
I called in at the garage a couple of days before the diagnostic appointment was due and apprised them of the situation; they just rolled their eyes and said “it happens ….
” and the appointment was cancelled. Usually, that’s a cue for the light to come back on (!) but thankfully that hasn’t happened. Yet. We’ll see how we go.
Unleaded rocketed up by a further 3p a litre during the week
, it’s now at 145.9p locally and that price seems to be consistent wherever you look round here. There’s not really any incentive to embark on leisure travel these days, and with regard to the footie, my emergency timetable (“no trek more than 10 miles each way”) remains in operation. With this Saturday seeing one of the two teams I’d yet to clock in the Dorset Senior League travelling up to Gillingham Town, the afternoon’s entertainment was therefore nicely sorted.
As we drove across town to the ground, (it’s slightly too far to walk these days), Ossie started panicking:
“We haven’t bought anything to eat!”
“Well, that’s not a huge problem, is it, bird?”
“But it’s a reserves match and the clubhouse won’t be open!”
“So?”
“All the people who only read this thread for the refreshments will be disappointed! All my Followers will disappear! I’ll lose my Social Status! I won’t be an Influencer any more!”
“You – an Influencer? You daft bird! Remember when you tried to get all the Ostriches in Whipsnade Zoo to dress up in tutus?
That didn’t exactly work out, did it?”
Bur to keep Ossie quiet, I managed to find a parking spot outside Asda, and donning my Darth Vader DeathMask, entered the store. (It's interesting to note virtually no-one inside was masked up, quite a surprise for this conservative town). First, I tracked down a large tin of Scottish Shortbread for Christmas, with a Highland Stag picture on the front and a price of £3.50
– Mrs O had spotted it a couple of weeks back, but had been too laden on the day to purchase it. We’ve seen them at £5 elsewhere, so a reasonable bargain. Then off to the hot counter, which turned out to be bare, apart from one remaining, snivelling beef and gravy pasty (£1.75)
. This looked as if it had been in the hot cabinet since the dawn of time, and appeared to have the consistency of something that had only just survived a seven year spell in the climate-change afflicted sub-Sahara. You know what I mean, the sort of pastry you could take a mallet to, and damage the mallet.
Still, only to be expected at 1:30 on a Saturday afternoon, right at the end of lunchtime. So I decided to leave that alone, as I knew that the fish ‘n chip shop we’d parked outside up the road was still open for mid-day trade.
Now this chippie isn’t the well-respected and venerated Mr Lee. It’s a different one, and has a local reputation for the fantastic size of its portions
. If you order a regular chips, you get something about half the size of an EU potato mountain. A large chips equates to the full mountain.
I went for the cone of chips (£1.50) and staggered out of the shop with something about the size of a small bouquet! I managed to wrestle it into the car, where it overbalanced and chips went flying everywhere!
Salt and vinegar on the car seat – oh dear. Please don’t tell Mrs O.
Still, very nice they were too, even if I could only manage about three-quarters of them.
On to the game, and this was my first trek to Gillingham Town’s Woodwater ground since they erected the floodlights and put in the “grandstand” (as they call it). It’s just a generic kit-built 50-seater, a bit like a Meccano construct. The new-build ground is functional enough, but all the high wire mesh fencing and portacabins do make it seem somewhat soulless; you could easily mistake it for a refugee camp
. Viewing from the seated stand is a bit restricted by the perspex dugouts, but I’ve seen worse, and Ossie perched in there for most of the match. The pitch looked in reasonable fettle, although it was still showing some signs of all the remedial drainage work they had to do back in the summer; I just hope it survives the wear and tear of the winter months. The floodlights are, I think, powered by a large white box - an upgraded Hyundai version of Wincanton Town’s Scary Generator
(although this might just be a back-up, I don’t know, I’m no electrical engineer
).
The game commenced some 8 minutes late after the home team didn’t amble out of the changing rooms until virtually kick-off time, the referee then decided to lecture the two club linesmen individually and at some length concerning their duties, and we’d observed the Remembrance Day silence.
Play started at a frantic, 100 mph pace, and never really let up. There were four glorious chances, two to each side, in the first 10 minutes, with the woodwork being rattled twice. Both teams were demonstrating excellent interpersonal ball skills, Gillingham in particular, and it really was exciting, end to end stuff – which, knowing my luck, had goal-less draw written all over it!
It was quite a relief when Harry Browne broke the deadlock for the home team on 64m – after the visitors’ keeper had blocked a fierce shot, Browne lashed the ball back into the net from 20 yards. Chances followed regularly at both ends, and culminated with an angled Merley Cobham drive hitting the bottom of the goalpost and rebounding back out to safety in the last minute of normal time.
Enthralling stuff, and probably the most entertaining game of the season so far.
13/11/21: Dorset Senior League (Step 8 and a 14:00 kick-off to avoid using said floodlights, I guess)
Gillingham Town Reserves 1 Merley Cobham Sports Reserves 0No admission charge, although there was a donations box by the entrance.
Refreshments: After all that, the portacabin with the refreshment hatch was in fact open for business - I treated myself to a Snickers bar for £1
Attendance: 24
