Vocal Voices

It's that time of year when the feathered fiend turns his attention to the upcoming footie season, so as last year, I'll post a short weekly blog of the bird's travels, which I hope may be of entertainment / amusement to forum members ...

First up:

Saturday 23/07/16: Pre-Season Friendly
Rushall Olympic 2 Newtown AFC 1
Admission: £3, programme £2 (24pp effort covering all three of the 'Pics home friendlies), parking £1 (at least they've re-tarmaced the approach road to the ground ), raffle £1 (winner never announced ... )
Refreshments: £1 for a bottle of chilled Harrogate spring water, and £2.50 for a steak pie
Attendance: 103

No changes or improvements to the ground since last season; it still resembles an American penitentiary thanks to 30 foot high security fencing on two sides of the perimeter (to stop the balls disappearing into the jungle beyond), and there remains that added frisson of excitement that at any moment you could disappear into a deep sinkhole (as the ground is built over Victorian limestone workings).

Sometimes with these pre-season friendlies, on a very hot day, they play 3 x 30 minutes "halves" rather than 2 x 45 minutes, but the teams opted for the latter, so it was a "proper" game. The visitors, Newtown, are quite a strong side in the Welsh Premier League, so it was interesting to compare standards. Newtown certainly looked a classier side, playing the ball about nicely, but Northern Premier League Rushall managed to haul themselves back into the game from the ignominy of conceding a first minute penalty for a blatant foul on the edge of the area, equalising with a superb goal on 49m from Christophorou who sneaked round the far side of the defence to meet a long ball over the top with a cracking first-time volley, and then notching a somewhat undeserved winner in the final minute when Newtown keeper Perry and defender Mills-Evans got into a rare old kerfuffle and contrived to let both the ball and Pic's Alex Reid past them - a simple tap-in goal resulted. A draw would have been a fairer result.

Pretty competitive game for a friendly, and an interesting start to the Ostrich's season.

(to stop the balls disappearing into the jungle beyond), and there remains that added frisson of excitement that at any moment you could disappear into a deep sinkhole

Nice write up!
My friend Vonnie used to live on Winterley Lane near the ground - you've summed up Rushall perfectly

JoM wrote:(to stop the balls disappearing into the jungle beyond), and there remains that added frisson of excitement that at any moment you could disappear into a deep sinkhole

Nice write up!
My friend Vonnie used to live on Winterley Lane near the ground - you've summed up Rushall perfectly

Yes, Jo, that's pretty much opposite the ground, isn't it?

Rushall Olympic have been in-situ there for around 40 years. But the story is that, about 3 years ago, some geologist found Ye Ancient Mappe of the area which pointed to early Victorian limestone workings in the immediate locality (the canal, of course, runs nearby - that was the primary mode of heavy transport in those times). Walsall Council 'Elf and Safety swung into action and overnight prohibited use of the football team's clubhouse and the two stands! They eventually relented, but only after the club had agreed to re-locate one stand to the other side of the pitch - luckily it was one of those Atcost-type prefabricated affairs, so easy enough to do .....

I think in fairness there had been some minor subsidence issues affecting the club car-park. I hope your friend Vonnie doesn't wake up to find her back garden's disappeared one morning ....

Glad you didn't disappear into a sink hole Looking forward to your reviews of the coming season Not that I'm interested in the footie ( ) I just enjoy the detail

Safe to say I was an avid fan of every one of your posts last season Os and am looking forward to reading them again this season.

I like footy..but secretly like the food report too!

Off by train to Hereford, a short walk to the famous Edgar Street ground, and the purchase of a programme for the Bulls’ pre-season friendly against Merthyr Tydfil. However, that was a failsafe – Hereford vs Merthyr Tydfil was my “Plan B” and I had another rumoured English / Welsh match to investigate first. So, a further ½ mile walk out of town to the Country Ground, Widemarsh Common, and yes, my Plan A game was on!

Saturday 30/04/16 – Pre-season Friendly
Hereford Lads Club 1 Llandrindod Wells 2
Admission: free, no programme
Refreshments: 2 x J2O Orange for £3.20
Attendance: peaked at 19!

It’s a pleasant hour-and-a-half's run down to Hereford on the hourly London Midland service, with spectacular views of Worcester Racecourse and the River Severn from the high viaduct over the river, then the Malvern Hills, with plenty of miniature figures of walkers visible on the top ridge enjoying the hike, and finally down through Colwall and Ledbury, passing the hop fields and apple orchards. And only £10.65 on a Senior Railcard. Hereford station is a little outside the centre of town, and my stroll to the football grounds mentioned above took me further out into the suburbs, although the spire of the Cathedral and the fermenting towers of the huge Bulmers Cider plant were always visible.

Hereford Lads Club must have one of the dingiest clubhouses I’ve ever set foot in. A small, darkened bar was being laid out for a Hen Party – when my eyes adjusted to the gloom, I found, rather disconcertingly, I was staring at a naked male blow-up doll sitting at the next table! More than enough to put you off your J2O! Outside, despite having the headquarters of the Herefordshire FA in a low-slung, modern building on the campus, there’s only a basic single railed pitch with no stands, leaving the Ostrich to spend a fair proportion of the match perched on a metal dustbin. There is what appears to be an indoor sports-hall in a third building, but that was closed up.

The game pitted the West Midlands Regional League Division 1 homesters against a club from what I believe is the Spar Mid Wales League, but I need to research that. In any event, it wasn’t the most entertaining affair, and nearly boiled over just before the interval when a lunging tackle by a Hereford Lads player sparked off a fair bit of confrontation and acrimony, and even some (alleged) English / Welsh racist abuse (I didn't hear the actual comment). Sensibly, the referee blew up for the interval three minutes early.

I headed for the bar, but as I arrived, out stepped one of the Hens – exceeding short dress, high heels, and tattoos up to, well …. I did a quick about-turn; I didn’t want to be misidentified as the visiting male stripper. Mind you, it might have been priceless to have seen their faces if at the crucial moment the Ostrich had popped out of the top of the large celebration cake …..

Three goals in the second half settled the game in the visitors’ favour. Walking back to the station, I passed Edgar Street where the other match was still in progress, and had a wry smile as a chant of “What a Load of Rubbish …” wafted over the perimeter walls … just enough time for a "Boneless Banquet" at the local KFC (£5.99), with fries, a side of chicken gravy and Pepsi, before the 17:40 return service.

Jo, if you read this, please feel free to post on this thread the next time you visit one of your Premiership games (am I right, do you go up to Old Trafford?). It'll make an interesting contrast to the sort of non-league games I watch. But don't forget to report on the food, or Ally'll get cross ....

Ossie - what a treat to be reading these again. And you've started well...this report had me laughing out loud at 7.45, in my garden, on a very quiet Sunday morning. Thank goodness my nearest neighbour is a good bit away from me or they'd be wondering what the hell was going on!!!

I love the sound of the train journey (you know I love me trains ) - good old London Midland service.

What's not for me to like in your description of hills, Cathedral and a cider plant - 3 of my favourite things!

By 'eck those ladies know some classy joints for a hen do!

at the blow-up doll.

As nice as the 'Boneless Banquet' undoubtedly was, I'm looking forward to future reports featuring pies and chips.

Thanks for a great read Ossie. If your reports are anything like last years then reading them will be my Sunday morning laugh-a-thon.

Ossie

Saturday 30/04/16 – Pre-season Friendly
Hereford Lads Club 1 Llandrindod Wells 2
Admission: free, no programme
Refreshments: 2 x J2O Orange for £3.20
Attendance: peaked at 19!

I read this and wondered if you were on one of your strict diets again, as the refreshments looked a bit paltry I was relieved to read about the stop off at KFC

Kaz wrote::lol: Ossie

Saturday 30/04/16 – Pre-season Friendly
Hereford Lads Club 1 Llandrindod Wells 2
Admission: free, no programme
Refreshments: 2 x J2O Orange for £3.20
Attendance: peaked at 19!

I read this and wondered if you were on one of your strict diets again, as the refreshments looked a bit paltry I was relieved to read about the stop off at KFC

TheOstrich wrote:
Jo, if you read this, please feel free to post on this thread the next time you visit one of your Premiership games (am I right, do you go up to Old Trafford?). It'll make an interesting contrast to the sort of non-league games I watch. But don't forget to report on the food, or Ally'll get cross ....

We do, and I will
The food report will probably go something like "...and I said to Joe that I'm not paying £7 for a hotdog and a bottle of water, you can have a meal deal from Tesco afterwards"

Not sure if we'll get up so often this coming season though. There's a bit of renewed optimism and I don't think tickets (I say tickets, we just have a membership card which games are added to and is then swiped at the turnstiles) will be so easy to come by. They all went on sale the minute fixtures were released, 9am one Wednesday in June. I'd been in a queue on the website since 8.15am and didn't actually manage to get in and purchase tickets (for the first and last home games of the season) until just before 2pm.
There was swearing. Lots of swearing.

Add to that the introduction of Friday night games for TV now We can get there easily by train for an 8pm kick off but to get home we'd need to leave the ground midway through the second half as the last train south is 10.07pm and, allowing for injury time, an 8pm kick off doesn't finish until 9.50ish. The first home game has been changed to a Friday - Skyjacked - so we need to beg John to come up and collect us afterwards.

Sounds like you made the right choice yesterday