Four Weddings and a Penalty Shootout

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Re: Four Weddings and a Penalty Shootout

Postby TheOstrich » 15 Jul 2017, 19:43

15/07 – on the menu for today’s entertainment was Westbury United v Swindon Town. Now there’s quite a bit of controversy at the moment over Premiership and Football League clubs sending teams to local non-league neighbours. The non-league team usually advertises the match (and charges!) as if it were the opposition first team squad coming; inevitably, the “team” that turns up is a disappointing mix of mainly reserves and triallists, with perhaps one or two “big names” thrown in. :| Full marks then to Woking who realised, very late last week, that Watford were sending their reserves, not the Premiership squad, for their advertised friendly, and hurriedly reduced the admission fee from £15 to £10. And indeed, Westbury United were advertising today’s game against Swindon Town as if it were a full-blooded affair, but I picked up a rumour from elsewhere that it was going to be Swindon’s Under 18 Development squad .....

Anyway, having spent most of yesterday evening trying to plot a roundabout route from here to Westbury avoiding as many main roads as possible (the A350 through that town is a bit of a north – south holiday route if you’re heading to Purbeck or Bournemouth), the whole project was suddenly ejected straight out of the window when a late trawl of local clubs’ fixtures suddenly produced a fair old surprise :shock: – Shepton Mallet were hosting a South West Peninsula League side, Torpoint Athletic who reside just over on the Cornish side of the River Tamar, across from Plymouth. Now why on earth a SWPL club were prepared to make a 215 mile round trip for a friendly, I have no idea, and neither , strangely, did any of the Shepton officials I spoke to, including the manager, who replied “don’t ask me, I’m just the coach – I leave all that to the committee!” :D

Because of their geographical location, South West Peninsula League clubs (Cornwall and Devon) rarely venture off their own patch and don’t tend to look for promotion to higher leagues because of the travelling. They do enter the FA Cup and FA Vase competitions (and generally perform quite well against sides outside their region) but opportunities to see teams from this league are as rare as hens’ teeth. So, a hasty revision of the Ostrich’s plans, and a trip over the Somerset border to The Playing Fields, Old Wells Road, which turned out to be located up a track in the middle of an estate on the west side of town.

Shepton Mallet’s ground looked spruce and tidy, ready for the new season. It’s in an attractive setting, surrounded, but not hemmed in, by tall fir trees (and one huge sweet chestnut) with the main buildings painted to highlight the club colours of black and white. There’s three eclectic stands of varying age – The Dean Gregory Memorial Stand, the Tony Wolff Memorial Pavilion, and a slightly decrepit, unnamed one on the half way line which Ossie set up shop in. It rained consistently throughout the match, with intensity varying between drizzle and downpour, so the broken guttering didn’t help! :( Nor did the 8 year old brats pounding backwards and forwards at the back of the stand, giggling hysterically :evil: , but there you go.

Despite these tribulations, it was a pretty good game for the spectator. Both sides played competitively; it could have been a cup tie rather than a mere friendly. Chances abounded at either end, and with more than a few sitters missed, a 1-1 draw was an eminently fair result. Torpoint’s no.9, who scored a second-half equaliser, celebrated with a long knee-slide on the wet turf that I shouldn’t think endeared him particularly with the groundsman. :lol: A friendly club, Shepton Mallet, and I think I’ll be back there again before too long.

Pre-season Friendly: Shepton Mallet 1 Torpoint Athletic 1
£3 admission, no programme, 70p for a Mars bar, £2 for an orange J2O, and £3.80 for a Shepton Whopper (cheeseburger, bacon, onion and chips in a large bap!), attendance 48.
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Re: Four Weddings and a Penalty Shootout

Postby victor » 17 Jul 2017, 17:29

Great write up again Osc -as usual
Shepton Mallet ? your getting braver by the week !!!
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Re: Four Weddings and a Penalty Shootout

Postby TheOstrich » 22 Jul 2017, 19:52

22/07 – continuing the theme of rather exotic and quirky pre-season games, today saw the Ostrich make an early departure for Western League club Bishop Sutton FC, which is based in that small village (population around a thousand) on the southern outskirts of Bristol next to Chew Valley Lake. The ground’s called Lakeview but I couldn’t see anything of it; too many trees! :D For a rural, yet probably Bristol commuter belt community, the village has an interesting history of coal-mining. The last pit was closed in the late 1920’s and at one point in the previous century, they had been owned by the Rees-Mogg family (of Jacob, the archetypical Tory MP fame).

As Ossie headed out of the door, there was an absolute cloudburst and it was a somewhat damp and bedraggled Ostrich that finally made it into the car. :cry: The inclement weather lasted the first 5 miles or so of the journey, but by the time I was motoring through Mere, the sun was out. What should have been a reasonably straightforward journey ground to a halt on the Frome by-pass with a mile-long tailback through roadworks and temporary traffic-lights, and then a key road closure in Frome itself left me to find my own way round it and back onto the Radstock road, an exercise which lost me 20-30 minutes overall. No further problems were encountered, however, and I drove down the track into the football club’s spacious carpark well in time for a 2:30 kick-off. Like last week, it was a bit perturbing to find the place virtually deserted but the clubhouse was open, the pasties were hot, and shortly after I settled down, the opposition arrived in a 50-seater coach with tales of getting lost on the motorway and having to drive through the centre of Bristol - and promptly headed for the bar! :lol:

Today’s visiting team were CFD Afan Lido from Port Talbot, South Wales, making a 160 mile round trip for this game. Afan Lido have in recent years been a Welsh Premier League club, but are now one step below in the Welsh League Division 1. Chatting with their fans before the game, I was told they’d brought a strong squad including a striker, Mark Jones who last year had scored 20-odd goals for Premier club Carmarthen. If I’ve got the right Mark Jones (and there are an awful lot of Mark Joneses playing football in South Wales :D ), he’s now 28, but had originally started his career with Afan Lido as a teenager.

The Afan Lido team were hoping for a good work-out today, but in reality they were fortunate they got a game at all as by 2:15 Bishop Sutton had only mustered 9 players. :o Eventually two more were rounded up, one went on the bench, and an Afan player was seconded into the home team’s starting line-up (we wondered why one player on Bishop Sutton’s team was wearing red socks when all the rest of the team were yellow – then we realised what had happened!). For the first half hour, it was a pretty evenly-contested game, then Afan’s Josh Webber got clean through the middle and clinically shot past the keeper. One minute later, Jones repeated the feat! And the star striker scored his second before half-time with a tap in.

0-3 at half-time, then, and by the hour mark it was 0-8! :shock: Completely one way traffic with Afan scoring at will – five goals in fifteen minutes, including a penalty and a thumping header back over the keeper from a deep cross. Jones eventually scored 5 goals, as did Webber (his last one a cross which deceived everyone and floated into the net) and the referee blew for full-time early, on the 85th minute with the score 0-11. Ossie was a shade annoyed with the referee over that; he was hoping for a twelfth goal to beat his record highest score, but not to be! :evil:

Pre-season Friendly: Bishop Sutton 0 CFD Afan Lido 11
No admission or paperwork, 80p for a bag of beef and onion crisps, £2 for an orange J2O, £4 for two excellent pasties, and £1 for one of the worst cups of stewed coffee I’ve had in a long time, attendance 35. Some clubs can make a performance art out of stewing coffee. A timely reminder to remember to order tea …. :lol:
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Re: Four Weddings and a Penalty Shootout

Postby Ally » 22 Jul 2017, 20:11

Beef & onion crisps...I want some now! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Boo hiss to that referee! :evil:

Great read Ossie. :D :D :D
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Re: Four Weddings and a Penalty Shootout

Postby Kaz » 22 Jul 2017, 20:41

'Tis true, there are a LOT of Joneses in S Wales, and a fair few stormed over the border into Gloucester too :P ;) :lol:

Love the write up, Ossie :)
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Re: Four Weddings and a Penalty Shootout

Postby victor » 23 Jul 2017, 22:19

Great reporting Ossie,my word you do get about !
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Re: Four Weddings and a Penalty Shootout

Postby TheOstrich » 29 Jul 2017, 22:19

29/07 – It’s always interesting to see how the English shire counties depict themselves for the tourist. I’m thinking of those roadside signs you pass as you cross over the borders. For example, here we have:

“DORSET – Home of the Jurassic Coast”
and
“WILTSHIRE Welcomes You”

Crossing over the county boundary today near Fordingbridge, however, there was a slightly different tone ….
“HAMPSHIRE – No Road Markings”

:shock: :lol: :lol: :lol:

So back to a ground I visited last March for today’s final week of pre-season friendlies - the real action for most junior clubs starts with the FA Cup Extra Preliminary Qualifying Round next Saturday. Downton FC’s ground had changed markedly in the few months since the Ostrich was last there. Previously, three sides of the ground were surrounded by dense thickets of conifers, but today the line of trees between the near goal and the Brian Whitehead Sports Club building had been totally removed, and on the far side of the pitch, many had been pruned back drastically. Just a series of forlorn, soaking (it didn’t stop raining all day here) piles of wood chippings. Shame really :( . I recalled Downton’s shooting wasn’t the most accurate last time I came here, and today more than a few balls disappeared over into the adjoining housing estate during the course of the game. I would have liked to have enquired why, but there seemed to be a running argument going on between some of the club’s officials over the price of the beef burgers :? , with one faction wanting to sell at £3 a pop, while others were horrified at a price exceeding £2. I left them debating the relative merits of £2.30 or £2.50 …. :D

Today’s match was an intriguing tie between Wessex League Downton and Littlehampton Town, from the Premier Division of the Southern Combination, a league which primarily covers Sussex and Surrey. Technically, Littlehampton are a Step 5 club, and a higher grade than Downton, which they made clear within the first minute, their no.9 shooting against the post, admittedly from an offside position. That set the tone for a game that was not without incident! 8-)

12m – a Downton player was completely poleaxed by a shot that cannoned into him from close range. Littlehampton promptly claimed handball and looked aggrieved they weren’t given it. :o
14m – Littlehampton’s no.9 neatly lobbed the keeper – offside again!
17m – a Littlehampton player was bundled over in the box by the Downton keeper. No.9 stepped up and tried to place a half-hearted penalty to the custodian’s left; he parried it away easily.

And needless to say, after 20 minutes of being under the cosh, Downton took the ball to the other end and their no.11 swivelled to hit a superb 20-yard shot into the far corner of the net. 1-0 completely against the run of play! :mrgreen:

Just before half-time, there was a nasty 3-way collision that left two Downton players and an opponent prostrate on the ground – pure accident , all three trying to connect with a high ball; thankfully all recovered after treatment.

Into the second half and Littlehampton employed skulduggery to equalise :twisted: . Free kick just outside the area, the no.9 received permission from the referee to take it quickly, and lobbed it unchallenged into the net while the Downton goalie was still trying to organise his defensive wall. Boy was that goalkeeper not a happy bunny! :evil: But the goal stood.

More even play after that, although Littlehampton should have scored more than once, but were guilty of over-elaboration. In one move, two attackers decided to pass the ball sideways across the goalmouth rather than undertake what would have been the far simpler task of sticking the thing in the net; the third attacker waiting in line wasn’t expecting such delicate skill, and promptly blazed the ball over the bar. :lol:

With the game at 1-1, and winding down nicely to the final whistle, what we didn’t anticipate was three goals in the final 5 minutes. Downton appeared to have secured the result with a close range tap-in from a corner, but Littlehampton equalised direct from the kick-off, and won it in the 89th minute with a fierce drive which beat the goalie at his near post. An unexpectedly exhilarating finish to a decent match played in dreadful conditions. Credit to both sides, and I anticipate I’ll be back at Downton again before too long – a very friendly and welcoming village club.

Pre-season Friendly: Downton 2 Littlehampton Town 3
£3 admission, no programme, £1 for a bag of Real Handcooked Strong Cheese and Onion flavour crisps, £2 for an orange J2O from the clubhouse, £3 for a quality cheeseburger, and £1 for a decent, milky cuppa tea (just like I like it brewed :D ) from the hatch, attendance 36.
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Re: Four Weddings and a Penalty Shootout

Postby Ally » 30 Jul 2017, 06:59

:lol: :lol: at the border signs.

Those crisps sound delish! :D :D

Great read Ossie thanks. xx
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Re: Four Weddings and a Penalty Shootout

Postby cromwell » 30 Jul 2017, 09:17

Great read Os. You should have a newspaper column!
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Re: Four Weddings and a Penalty Shootout

Postby Kaz » 30 Jul 2017, 22:25

Crommers is right Ossie! :lol:

The crisps do sound good, don't they Ally? :D 8-)

Plenty of drama there then, Ossie, despite the weather :lol: :lol:
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