Ossie wrote:Now, we shall see, but sadly I suspect this will be the last time Ossie blogs for this season. Reading the runes, I can’t see the grassroots soccer or rugby programme surviving beyond the end of this coming week, as I believe Boris will have to man up and impose blanket bans on all mass gatherings, etc. until this current crisis is resolved. This is what has happened in many European countries now, and indeed (as far as junior soccer is concerned) in Scotland, and rightly so, in my book.
So on that sober note , I’ll leave all you ageing rockers with this poignant 1965 classic:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvIIM2AZgCA
(The Rolling Stones – “The Last Time”)
And indeed, at that time, I did think that, for Ossie, it might well be all over.
There seemed little if any chance of football resuming any time before 2021 – don’t forget, the meeja at this time were prophesying that anyone over 70 and with UHL stepping outside the house were risking certain and instant death 
– I suspected that the bird had sheathed his journalistic pencil for good ..... 
However – perhaps not!
The FA has issued many edicts in the intervening period, but one dating from mid-July, revolved around “Guidelines for the Return of Outdoor Competitive Grassroots Football”. Having gained Government approval, the green light was given for clubs to arrange tournaments and pre-season friendlies from 1st August – all subject to the strictest bureaucracy. Many clubs promptly advertised a pre-season fixture list, but the big conundrum was “would spectators be allowed?”
Buried in the small print seemed to be a resounding “NO”, but buried in the even smaller print was “this applies to Steps 1 to 6 of the Non League Soccer pyramid" only; in other words your Woking FCs down to your Warminster Town FCs. So what about the real minnows, at the bottom of the pond. 
County FA decision? Local Council decision? Clubs’ own decision? All very murky and unclear. But step up “The Spitfires” who not only arranged a friendly for today but tweeted they were positively welcoming visitors! 
Zeals FC are fully aware of their celebrity status. They are unique.
They are the only club in England beginning with a letter “Z”. 
They are also very go-ahead, have well-maintained Twitter and Facebook feeds, and are quite accomplished at getting “out there”. So my eye was caught by the prospect of a match today, but there was just one drawback – none of their publicity info gave a kick-off time! 
However, the opposition, Clarendon FC, let slip it was 3:00, so this afternoon Ossie set out on the 5 mile trip north into Wiltshire to visit the ZRG (which is a bit like the MCG in Australia, but without the 100,024 capacity. Zeals Recreation Ground, for the uninitiated. )So then, what is the “New Norm”? Firstly, in accordance with the FA’s Directive, I checked that I had no Covid-19 symptoms (and that Ossie had no drooping feathers to declare
) before I set off. I went fairly early, because it’s a pokey little car park, and the Directive discourages any car sharing, by players especially, so I anticipated it would be rammed. Indeed, it was comfortably full, but I got a slot. (In fact the Directive states you ought to walk or cycle to the ground, not use public transport, plus there’s a lot of incomprehensible waffle about “support bubbles” 
).Wandering past the portacabins, I found a lass in a Zeals teeshirt and was duly asked to use the hand sanitiser and sign in, sheets and disinfectant equipment being tastefully laid out on a trestle table. 5 minute faff whilst the two in front of me decided whether to write “Dominic Cummings” or not
, and then I couldn’t get the hand gel plunger to work. Who designs these blasted things 
? Having eventually completed the formalities, I was collared by the club’s manager, who’d been tipped off I was a visiting ground-hopper (albeit from just down the road) – and I was duly presented with a goodie bag as a thank-you for coming !!! As is my wont, seeing the referee standing alone on the sidelines, I jauntily hailed him and asked him what new regulations the FA had brought in for the Officials. He promptly sidled up to me and unleashed a torrent of conspiracy theories about the Government and Covid, the least (or depending on your point of view, the most) plausible of which was that BoJo was fully responsible for the whole shebang
! I wished him all the best for the game, and wandered off to socially distance myself from everyone else!Zeals are a Yeovil & District League side, whilst Clarendon hail from West Winterslow, a small village in the vast uninhabited wastelands lying east of Salisbury, a veritable Bermuda Triangle – and dominated by the infamous Porton Down Research Laboratories
. I had to stop Ossie fretting that he was more likely to contract Novichok than Coronavirus 
… and I also had some difficulty tracking down just exactly what level of club Clarendon was. Their Twitter indicates they are a Hampshire Premier League side, but a trawl through the Hampshire League’s website failed to reveal any mention of them. It was only when I delved into the League’s weekly newsletters, “The Hog”, that I ascertained Clarendon were literally a brand new adult side and had been placed into the League’s Division 1 for the 20/21 season. Accordingly, today’s game at Zeals was their first ever competitive match! 
They didn’t get off to the brightest of starts. Zeals’ Lee Gale deftly back-headed a lobbed cross into the box to open the scoring on 3m, and just 7 minutes later, Simon Parfitt clinically despatched the penalty after the Clarendon keeper clattered an attacker. “I got the ball
,” wailed the keeper. “You got the man first 
,” stated the ref. After 23m, we had a drinks break. The ref hadn’t finished with his conspiracy theories, and wandered over to me on the touchline. “....And another thing. We’ve had an edict come down from the referee’s association. We have to wear black! Nothing but black! What do you make of that then?” I indicated I wasn’t entirely sure …. As for the soccer, it was all good grass-roots Route 1 stuff down the middle, with plenty of chances at both ends, but Zeals made it 3-0 just before the interval when Gale poached a simple goal, running through a static defence onto a long kick downfield and lobbing the Clarendon keeper.Clarendon got off the mark just after the break with a penalty of their own, scored by Dan Capitelli. The game began to drift in the second half but just when it looked like being all over, we had three further goals in the last 9 minutes. Ross Bentall made it 3-2 from a direct free kick outside the area which evaded everyone including the home goalie. Gale completed his hat-trick latching on to a Parfitt cross, neatly dummying a defender and wrongfooting the keeper, and Charlie Humber completed the scoring, taking full advantage of a missed clearance.
All in all, an entertaining start to Ossie’s season.
Where we will be going from here, mind you, is anyone’s guess, and there must be question marks over when (indeed, if) League football will actually resume. Most leagues are planning to commence in September, but I don’t think it’s a done deal by any means. We shall have to wait and see …01/08/20 – Pre Season Friendly: Zeals 4 Clarendon 3
Admission: free, but I was so impressed with the set-up, organisation and hard work which had gone into today, I gifted then a tenner.
Goodie Bag: A bottle of Ice Valley spring water (currently in the fridge), a bag of Walkers Ready Salted Crisps (currently in the Ostrich
), an A4 sized Matchday Programme (a hard copy of something I’d unsuccessfully tried to download from the Facebook page before the game) and a woven Club Badge (Ossie has asked Mrs O if she could sew it on something; Mrs O’s suggestions as to where turned the bird ashen … )Refreshments: A large notice posted alongside the club’s Risk Assessment on a whiteboard in front of the portacabins declared there were “No Pukka Pies!” Some of us who have been brought up in the Midlands and lived for years off Pukka Pies might feel they deserve a Risk Assessment of their very own ….
Attendance: 31
