Five reds an' they're off! T'inaugural Leeds Gren Pree is under way follerin' Dave Cam'run's change to t' roads regerlaterons.
Nah then, wot's this? Hamilton is pulled ovver by t'police fer a Stop and Serch in t' lay-by by t' bus station..... an' he's out! Hamilton is out coz his papers ent in order. Here comes t' transporter and t' scooter an' he's off. Bugger!
Aye up, is this a break dahn f' Rosberg - there's a bit of a queue? Ah no. it's pedestrian crossing at red down by Primark. That's a sod f' Rosberg, he were 33 seconds ahead o' Rykern, Rikimn, Reconin' before t'old up. Ne'er mind, he should pass that Akbar Private Hire on t' run dahn t' t'gas showrooms on Eastgate...
No, I am not impressed with Cameron's election gimmick of allowing street racing. The UK already has one of the most spectacular races on something called a racing circuit at a place named Silverstone, so it is unlikely that F1 will want to race round Leeds, Carlisle or Bognor. All that will happen is that the minor formulas might want to take part in races that nobody is that much bothered about.