Sturminster Newton United, nicknamed “The Cherries”, (the club badge is a bunch of said fruit) were formed in 1873, but haven’t accomplished a lot since. I believe they were promoted into the Dorset Senior League at the end of last season, from what depths I do not know. Nevertheless, the ground is prominently signposted off the main road, and the Bing Maps aerial view showed up suspicious, regularly-spaced shadows in the wheat field adjoining the pitch indicating the provision of floodlight pylons. So they could have kicked off at the traditional time of 3:00, but I’m always suspicious of these things in grass-roots football once the clocks go back, so I timed my run to arrive there at 1:40 - a wise decision as they started the game at 2:00!
There are indeed floodlights but in practice they are totally inoperable, the inner cabling and some of the bulbs having long since disappeared ….The clubhouse is at the side of the SturFit leisure centre, and was pretty busy. The Ostrich espied a buffet, but was warned off as it transpired it was for club sponsors, not a free bird table
. The pitch itself is up a flight of steps, and there was a gentleman wandering around the entrance to it who was apparently deputed to collect admission money, but had to be prompted to actually accept the cash. The only cover was a sort of long cattle byre over concrete hardstanding, with remnants of floodlights and freestanding plastic chairs dotted about. Headroom was low; the Ostrich had difficulty in standing upright inside it (it’s that long neck ), so spent the game gratefully leaning against the pitch railing.It was pretty obvious from the start that both sides had shocking defences, but the home side, who had most of the play, failed to capitalise on the numerous chances they created. After 17m, Bridport gave away a soft penalty, but their keeper got down well to block a hard-hit spot-kick to his right. Bridport then took the lead when their no.5 managed to screw the ball in from an impossibly tight angle after the home keeper had tried to intercept a cross he never had a hope of reaching. A well-timed run around the back of a hesitant defence by Bridport’s no.7 after 35m made it 0-2, but Sturminster pulled a goal back just before the interval, no.8 nodding in a corner.
Chances galore in the second half, but Sturminster managed to score three further goals, including a bizarre number where the Bridport keeper, dribbling the ball to the edge of his area, failed to see a lurking opposition striker until too late, panicked
, and gifted the striker an open goal! Deserved win for Sturminster, but boy did they make hard work of it!Classic repartee during game:
Oldtimer: “It’s that ruddy female referee again. We ‘ad ‘er down at Blandford. Sent off our centre-forward, so she did. Lost us the game!”
Ostrich: “Yes, but did he deserve the red card?”
Oldtimer: “Well …..”
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Ostrich: “That Sturminster no.7 should have done better with that shot …”
Lady standing next to Ostrich: “Yes, I shall be ‘avin serious words with ‘im on the way home!”
Transpired she had two sons playing in the team!
Dorset Senior League: Sturminster Newton United 4 Bridport Reserves 2
Admission £2, no programme, tea 70p and unlimited bikkits 50p (donation), attendance 43
, but his spirits were more than raised when the rugby club’s bar was thrown open at half-time, and a whole array of Piddle Brewery bottles were found to be on sale. The bird quickly liberated one as a souvenir of the day! 
