The Chronicles of Ostrick ....

[Ally]

Full marks indeed for the young lads enterprise but a full on 'do one!' for hiking the prices.

Jazz Beavis - took me right back to Beavis & Butt-Head days!

[TheOstrich]

14/01 – to try to bring a bit of order and purpose into the second half of this season’s spectating, Ossie has been studying meticulously the state of all the various league tables and trying to work out if there are any teams in fear of relegation from “national” leagues which would then drop down into more parochial “county” leagues, thus falling somewhat outside the bird’s remit. For example, if Bristol-based club Almondsbury UWE, currently in the Western League Division 1, are relegated, (they are currently bottom of the table by some margin), then next season they would probably finish up in the Gloucester County Senior League, which is not a league within my radar. As I am an inveterate “collector of clubs” , it makes sense to go and see such clubs this season, before their fate is settled.

First up today, therefore, were Launceston RFC, currently in rugby union’s National 3 South West division, and in imminent danger of relegation back into the Cornish section of the South-West pyramid. Launceston, the self-styled “Cornish All-Blacks”, have in the past been a very successful club; indeed, in 2007 they were playing in National League 1 (then Level 2), and were therefore one of the top 40 rugby union sides in the country. Nowadays, however, they are in freefall – occupying one of the three relegation positions in their current Level 5 division.

Hosting the match were Salisbury RFC – so this was my second visit of the season to the Castle Road ground, in the shadow of Old Sarum Hill Fort – who are also in the bottom three, and this game was therefore a “make or break” relegation battle. The City of Salisbury’s civic colours are blue and gold, but Salisbury play in green and white hoops. This stems from the 1920’s when the local council decreed that the “barbaric” game of rugby should not be played within the city limits, and instructed the rugby club to remove themselves at least 10 miles out of town! The club were forced to decamp to Tytherley, where they were offered some land by a Mr Washington Singer (a descendant of the Singer sewing machine magnate Isaac Singer) - provided that they wore his racing colours of emerald and white. And although Salisbury RFC are playing back within the city boundary (only just, mind you), they’ve maintained that original strip.

No Vice –Presidents’ lunch scheduled for today, so I was able to access the main clubhouse, where I found they were laying on a special package offer to all-comers of Admission to the Game / Match Programme / Glass of Wine / and Hot Meal …. All for just £10! Ossie was sorely tempted but having indulged in the usual haggis and tomato brunch before setting out, I didn’t want to report back to Mrs O that I’d then feasted on cottage pie, peas and chips ……. A pleasant venue, but not sure why the obligatory signed international shirts that you find on display in most self-respecting rugby union clubhouses were here mounted on the ceiling rather than the walls.

As for the game, it was tense, it was nervous, it was low on skill and high on mistakes. No sign at all today of the swash-buckling Salisbury team I saw just before Christmas which lost at the death to Ivybridge. Launceston looked average but nevertheless purposeful; Salisbury often looked static and timid. The Cornish team, whose shirts were designed to reflect the black and white flag of Kernow, took the lead on 11m following a defensive panic, but Salisbury equalised on the half-hour mark with a push-over try.

And there the score remained until the 70th minute when Salisbury’s Metson got a break they didn’t perhaps entirely deserve, and found his way over the try-line. That proved decisive and the home side rode out the remainder of the game. Not a particularly pretty match, but that was understandable given what was at stake. Whether today will provide a launch-pad for Salisbury to climb out of the relegation zone, I wouldn’t like to say.

Interesting spectacle in the twilight on the way home on the A303 – a murmuration of starlings over Salisbury Plain. Not a huge one in terms of numbers, possibly, but quite a sight nevertheless!

National League 3 South West (Level 5): Salisbury RFC 14 Launceston RFC 7
Admission £5, programme with admission, tasty chicken bacon and mayo bap £2, orange and passion fruit J2O £1.60, attendance 196

[Ally]

Great read Ossie - and haviing just come home from a nice walk your report of bacon and mayo bap is exactly what I'm going to have for breakfast now!

[JoM]

Damn! We've got the chicken and the mayo but there isn't any bacon.

[cromwell]

Admission seems very reasonable Os. "Low on skill and high on mistakes" LOL, like it. Or as I read once "A game of thud and blunder"...

[TheOstrich]

"A game of thud and blunder"...

Well, there was certainly plenty of blunder! Either that or someone had coated the ball with lard.

Be interesting to see what the "Salisbury Journal" makes of it when it comes out next Thursday .....

[TheOstrich]

21/01 – not a day which went entirely to plan! At 12:00, the Ostrich duly set sail for Dorchester Town, where the opposition were Hayes & Yeading United, the last Southern League Premier Division which the bird needed to see to complete the set. It has been remarkably cold of late here in Dorset and the frost on the front garden, which is north-facing, hasn’t lifted for a number of days now. But the sun was out, and the day looked pleasant, albeit chilly. Passing through Sturminster Newton and crossing the River Stour, the white rime was abundant on the reeds of the riverbank, but nevertheless three anglers were sitting out under umbrellas, pursuing their hobby, and I never thought anything more of it. The cloud cover increased as I ambled down the infamous Piddle Valley (where it is reputed Cromwell once marched ) towards the county town, and I eventually drove into a strangely deserted football club car-park at the back of Tescos around 1:20. As the car park seemed to bear a number of signs indicating Permit Parkers only, I wasn’t too perturbed so drove out and parked up elsewhere before wandering round to the front of the ground to find the main entrance firmly locked up. At which point alarm bells sounded!

Returning to the car, I found another fan approaching the ground and asked him if the game was on. He looked as bemused at the lack of activity as I was, so we consulted Dorchester’s Twitter feed and found the match had been called off due to a frozen pitch 5 hours previously! Back in Birmingham, I’d have checked if my chosen match was on as a matter of course at this time of year, but I hadn’t given it a thought now we are down south. And the strange truth is that it has been 4 or 5 degrees colder in Dorset than it has been in the West Midlands for much of the last week, and the cloud cover over the coast has allowed the frost to get entrenched.

So, what to do? Luckily I had the Non-League Paper with me in the car, so a quick bit of research of the fixtures page saw me heading back inland, at some speed , the 15 miles or so to Blandford Forum where the Royals were booked to be at home in a Dorset League match; no floodlights, so an early 2:00 kick-off. Blandford was one of the grounds I had previously researched, and I remembered it was next to the cottage hospital, so into the town centre and thankfully the hospital was well signed from there. I hastily parked up in an already full car-park by the council-owned Recreation Ground and arrived pitchside, having missed the first 5 minutes of the game. Blandford were already a goal up thanks to a first minute penalty , so I asked the obvious question, “is there a referee’s assessor here today?” and was told “yes, three of them!”

Blandford United have been in residence at the Recreation Ground since the 1920’s, I was told, prior to which they played somewhere down alongside the river, and the crowd apparently had to stand on duckboards along the banks. The two old boys I was chatting to then spun me a tale of how someone’s grandfather, playing for the home side, had got so incensed with the referee that he’s thrown said official into the river! No such shenanigans today although the referee was fairly obviously keeping a tight rein on the affair.

Blandford used to have an ancient wooden stand, but that’s long since gone in favour of a small, modernish changing room block which also housed a tiny kitchen dispensing the basics. The pitch itself was railed, but there were no other facilities for the spectator. The first half passed quietly enough, still 1-0 at half time, but after that we hit the goal trail. Blandford’s second goal was tough on Bridport, their no.11 getting pack to intercept and rob a goal-bound home team player, but the ball ricocheted from the tackle onto the post and allowed the Blandford player to tap in the rebound. Chances were coming thick and fast, but the luck was going Blandford’s way and by 71m, they had added two further goals to make it 4-0. Game over, we thought. But then Bridport introduced a substitute up front, and two minutes later, he was well positioned to make it 4-1 when the home keeper and has defender had what could only be described as a terrible misunderstanding . Three minutes later, the home rearguard got into an awful muddle again, and following a scramble in the box, it was 4-2. With 4 minutes of the game remaining, the Bridport sub completed his hat-trick with a quite outstanding bit of skill, bringing the ball down, controlling it, and chipping it over the keeper into the net. And two minutes later, Bridport were level, a free header from a corner.

In stoppage time, Bridport netted again but luckily for Blandford it was ruled offside, so the final whistle blew on a rather remarkable draw. Blandford had played really well, and I was particularly impressed by the way their midfielders sent their two strikers away on goal with delicately-weighted passes rolled through the away defence; the Bridport goalie made more than a few telling saves at the feet of an onrushing forward. But I don’t think anyone would have put money on Bridport scoring 4 in the last 20 minutes to draw level – a classic display of making every chance count. Excellent game!

Dorset Premier League (Level 7): Blandford United 4 Bridport Reserves 4
Admission by donation (so I proffered £3), no programme, mug of tea provided for me at half time for free as I was a "stranger" (a very nice touch!), Mars bar from the kitchen 80p, attendance a healthy 61.

[JoM]

Great write up! Nice touch with the tea too.

The two old boys I was chatting to then spun me a tale of how someone’s grandfather, playing for the home side, had got so incensed with the referee that he’s thrown said official into the river! No such shenanigans today although the referee was fairly obviously keeping a tight rein on the affair.

With the standard of refereeing we're seeing in the Prem, the officials want to thank their lucky stars that their entrance at Old Trafford is in the corner furthest away from the Bridgewater Canal

[Ally]

All last year I looked forward to your match reports Ossie and you haven't let me down this year - same great reads and I love the details that really shine through making them unique, fun to read and a guaranteed chuckle when I sit with my Sunday coffee and peruse your latest offering.

Thanks Ossie.

[cromwell]

I eventually drove into a strangely deserted football club car-park...

Oh dear Os!

Still everything came right in the end, you watched a cracking match and got a free cup of tea! Great description of the fishermen too.