Early Valentine's Day lunch ......

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Early Valentine's Day lunch ......

Postby TheOstrich » 12 Feb 2018, 14:20

After Tom the Pole Man had paid an early morning visit to fit a couple of new window blinds at the front of the house, we headed up to Shaftesbury to dump off the old fittings at the council tip, before trying to park in the town to walk the snowdrop trail round the Abbey - but it proved impossible to find a space, so as it was a lovely bright day down here (for once!), I suggested we head out into the countryside to find a secluded establishment for a quiet Valentine's Day lunch.

HMP Guys Marsh ...... :shock: :cute: :mrgreen:

This Category C (closed) prison is a couple of miles outside town and hit the headlines, if you recall, with a serious protest and fire in one of the blocks last year. It's quite a small, discrete establishment really, only about 600 inmates, but does include a lot of foreign detainees. Anyway, as part of the rehabilitation / vocational training effort, there's a small public cafe (the "Jailhouse Cafe") on the site and they're open 10:00 to 2:00 for light snacks with lunches from 12:00.

The café is run by a charity called Expia and staffed by risk-assessed prisoners on day release, according to the blurb. It's upstairs in the Learning Centre, quite a bright and spacious room and a laid back décor. In fact, it was just like an ordinary café, not like the last prison café we visited at HMP Sudbury, Staffordshire. Sudbury was a Category D open prison (no security walls / fencing) and the café there was inside the prison campus, so you actually felt part of it. That cafe was much more utilitarian, with old photographs on display from its days as a WW2 barracks, and servings doled out by shaven-headed body-builder types from huge hot trollies - Mrs O was given such a huge serving of lasagne there, she couldn't eat for a week afterwards. In contrast, with Guys Marsh being a closed prison, we were outside the perimeter in a block next to the warders' residential houses, and it didn't have quite the same "jailhouse" feel.

On the specials board today were pork chops apple sauce and veg for £7.95 and chilli-con-carne. We settled for a couple of baked potatoes.
"Do you have fillings?"
"Yes, baked beans, cheese, tuna or chilli"
"Great, make it two chillis"
"That's two cheese"
"Chilli"
"Yes, that's right, cheese"

I said to Mrs O, "I think we might be getting cheese ...."
Mrs O: "whatever we get, just don't start a riot!" :lol:

We got cheese ...(with a nice side salad) - served by a chirpy, tattooed Cockney character.

Mrs O: "What about coffee?"
Ossie (with nervous glance around): " I wouldn't risk trying to change the order ...." :?

Not knowing the system, I got the prison stare when, after eating, I eventually located the till. It was supposed to be pay on order. Anyway, I mollified the café manager by buying a Jailhouse Café T-shirt (£8) and a souvenir jar of beetroot and horseradish chutney. Whether it contains added cannabis, I'll find out later ....

Finally, I picked up a copy of the newsletter for the Friends of Guys Marsh Prison. Inside, there's a fascinating report-back of a talk recently given to the group by one Noel "Razor" Smith. He is now a successful author (his first book was entitled "A Few Kind Words and A Loaded Gun"), following a career change from serial bank robber (proceeds £1.4m but two lengthy jail terms). An interesting slice of life "on the other side" ....... :lol:
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Re: Early Valentine's Day lunch ......

Postby Ally » 12 Feb 2018, 14:41

That sounded like an interesting lunch! :lol: :lol:

And there was me happy with my cheese 'n' tomato toastie. :lol: :lol:
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Re: Early Valentine's Day lunch ......

Postby Osc » 12 Feb 2018, 15:43

Ossie, you live an interesting life :lol:
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Re: Early Valentine's Day lunch ......

Postby JoM » 12 Feb 2018, 15:44

Didn't you sample the wares of HMP Sudbury at one time too?
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Re: Early Valentine's Day lunch ......

Postby meriad » 12 Feb 2018, 16:09

JoM wrote:Didn't you sample the wares of HMP Sudbury at one time too?

I was wondering that as well but couldn't remember the name of the HMP
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Re: Early Valentine's Day lunch ......

Postby Kaz » 12 Feb 2018, 16:22

Ossie , your adventures crack me up! :lol: Nobody has ever taken me to prison for lunch, I must have led a sheltered life ;) :P :D
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Re: Early Valentine's Day lunch ......

Postby Diflower » 12 Feb 2018, 17:08

Jo and Ria, you're not paying attention, Ossie refers to Sudbury in his report ;)

You take Mrs O on the most romantic dates :D
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Re: Early Valentine's Day lunch ......

Postby TheOstrich » 12 Feb 2018, 17:40

Diflower wrote:You take Mrs O on the most romantic dates :D


Well, yes. I was going to suggest Skevy's Cafe which is a (well-regarded) greasy spoon on the Wincombe Business Park by the council tip, but I thought I'd better make the effort ..... :lol: :lol: :lol:
Last edited by TheOstrich on 12 Feb 2018, 17:43, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Early Valentine's Day lunch ......

Postby saundra » 12 Feb 2018, 17:42

Ho beck you do lead a very exciting life ossie
What if there was a prison riot
glad you got out safe and sound 8-)
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Re: Early Valentine's Day lunch ......

Postby JanB » 12 Feb 2018, 17:58

Well, as long as you like cheese ;) ;)

Our local Bombeiros - well, not Ourique, but most other places - have lunches. As long as you're happy with cozida portugesa you'll be fine. Pigs ears and feet................
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