Good Morning Wednesday

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Re: Good Morning Wednesday

Postby cromwell » 29 May 2019, 15:49

meriad wrote:Crommers, is your FiL about to get out and about on his own or is he reliant people for everything? Just wondering if he can be encouraged to do something that may make his life a bit more 'less to grumble about'? But then some people (like my neighbour Ann) seem to be happiest when they're able to moan about something :?


He's definitely in the Ann camp Ria.
They are a funny family. FiL was brought up as one of four brothers and three sisters. The boys were always treated as being better than the girls. As a result they simultaneously look down on women but expect women to do everything for them; they have been carried through their lives by women. It is how they were raised. The youngest daughter was brought up and told she was going to stay at home to look after her parents (this would be in the 1940's, 50's) which is a very Victorian attitude.
So long story short, FiL expects his daughters to look after him like his parents were looked after by his youngest sister.
As an example my sister in law (MrsC's sister) works part time. She works Monday and Tuesday. With MrsC she takes her dad shopping on Wednesday and tidies the house. Thursday is her own. Friday she works. She works alternate Saturdays. On the Saturdays that she doesn't work she goes with MrsC to her dad's. Sunday she cooks her dad's Sunday dinner.
So out of the whole week my sister in law has one day free for herself - Thursday.
You know what FiL said the other day? "What does our Colleen do on Thursdays?" :twisted:
Wanting her to go round there, no doubt.
He isn't a bad person but he is very, very selfish and grudging. He is bl00dy hard work, as Kaz says. He moans constantly. His wife, my mother in law, was an absolute saint in my eyes. Talk about the wrong one going first! Women these days wouldn't stand for it and quite right too.
I always said if my mother in law had murdered him and buried him under the patio there isn't a jury in England that would have convicted her!
"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored" - Aldous Huxley
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Re: Good Morning Wednesday

Postby JanB » 29 May 2019, 16:42

Berlimey Crommers :shock: a complete nightmare for you all :cry:
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Re: Good Morning Wednesday

Postby Osc » 29 May 2019, 17:05

Crommers, why do MrsC and her sister not stand up to him occasionally? Say they are not available, that they too have lives? Then just ignore the moaning. I agree that mostly, it is the daughters who do the looking after, but they are allowed say no occasionally. I think some older people do get quite selfish and inward looking, but it sounds like FIL has always been like that. I really feel for your wife.
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Re: Good Morning Wednesday

Postby cromwell » 29 May 2019, 17:14

It is what it is Jan.
Osc, yes he has been like it his whole life.
MrsC does stand up to him using exactly those words! Sister in law is softer though and imo she gets emotionally blackmailed by her dad. He makes very sure that he gets well looked after.
"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored" - Aldous Huxley
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Re: Good Morning Wednesday

Postby JanB » 29 May 2019, 18:00

Glad to see that they occasionally stand up to him.

How old is he Crommers? In good health?
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Re: Good Morning Wednesday

Postby cromwell » 29 May 2019, 18:04

He's 92 Jan and in pretty good health.
Which is strange because he's been a creaking gate all his life.
"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored" - Aldous Huxley
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Re: Good Morning Wednesday

Postby JanB » 29 May 2019, 18:07

Often the way Crommers :roll: :roll:
Last edited by JanB on 29 May 2019, 18:09, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Good Morning Wednesday

Postby saundra » 29 May 2019, 18:08

Crommers I think I would just not answer the phone and ignore him or tell him he has an appointment with social for a care plan sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind
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Re: Good Morning Wednesday

Postby JanB » 29 May 2019, 18:11

And why not a home? Give you some peace and quiet and let the professionals looks after him. My dad had to go in a home, as we couldn't look after him and I saw him twice a week, which was great for us both.

Different circumstances, I know, as he'd had a stroke and we lived in a very old cottage, with the loo halfway up the dog leg stairs.

Once he got settled in, he was fine.
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Re: Good Morning Wednesday

Postby JoM » 29 May 2019, 18:18

Blimey Crommers, saying he's hard work is an understatement :shock:

As you know, we have problems with John's Mom and that she moved to Wales to be near John's sister and family.
They've had enough of her! Theresa is literally just around the corner but she sees her perhaps once a week for a short while and the grandsons rarely visit. John had a good chat with them when he was last there and they've reached their limit with her.

Theresa has a friend who'd moved to Scotland and sadly her husband died just after they'd moved so she returned to Wales. While buying a house she stayed with Theresa and Mike and mother in law has been horrible to her. She refers to this lady as 'her' or 'that woman'. She's a very nice woman and is a couple of years younger than Margaret, who complains of having no friends there, and has offered to spend time with her as she's also retired but M is having none of it.
Last weekend she was complaining about the oldest grandson who'd jet washed and painted her decking (which is a large area) because he hadn't been back to do the second coat on it. For a start, she was moaning midweek and he works full time and secondly, he and his wife are moving house this week so are up to their necks in packing!
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