They Thought it was All Over ..... But Maybe It Isn't!

[TheOstrich]

In fairness, it's now officially branded as the Yeovil Leisure Centre, which might be a bit more palatable to the BBC Sport mandarins and Jurgen Klopp. But to anyone over a certain age in South Somerset , it will always remain known as Mudford Rec ....

[Kaz]

My sides hurt after reading these reports. It's not the football, it's the names of the teams and some of their grounds. Imagine Gary L on MOTD announcing the EPL game between Wagtail Athletic V Liverpool FC live from Mudford Rec.

Tis 'ow we live yer in the West, moi luvver!

[TheOstrich]

After an extended run of pre-season friendlies, time to start the season proper with a competitive match, something I wondered back last March if I’d ever be seeing again! Several local leagues started their campaigns today, so after a bit of humming and hawing, Ossie decided on a trip to our old friends, Trowbridge Town of the Wiltshire Senior League, who for this season appear to have renamed their ground “Bradley Road” rather than the more prosaic Axe and Cleaver Ground. Reformed characters perhaps?

The Wiltshire Senior League has quite a good, proactive website, unlike other County (and higher up) organisations I could name. Browsing the site, it does sound a rather doom-laden note of caution about this coming season; Covid is uppermost, and there was some speculation pitch-side this afternoon as to whether we will see a completed schedule for 2020/21, or whether the whole caboodle might implode if we get a second spike before Christmas. Even the opening day’s fixtures have been affected:

Introduction
The 45th Season of the Corsham Print Wiltshire Senior League gets underway this coming Saturday although two of the scheduled fixtures have had to be postponed late on due to three Devizes Town players testing positive for Covid-19. Devizes Town Reserves scheduled trip to Corsham Town Reserves was postponed with Devizes the directly impacted club, but there was also an impact on Marlborough Town, who had played Devizes Town in a friendly last week, with their scheduled game against Frome Collegians also being called off. Hopefully, this is not a frequent occurrence but there is every chance that it could be, and it is perhaps a timely reminder to clubs to remain vigilant and follow all guidelines relating to Covid-19.

Sobering, but game on for the Ostrich today nevertheless, and a start at midday to drop Mrs O off in town to check out a new café that’s opened up, and a first port of call for the bird at the National Trust’s magnificent Stourhead House and Gardens, where lurks a small farm shop. Visits to Stourhead have to be pre-booked these days, and it's Gardens only, but the car park was pretty full and queuing to gain admission; the farm shop, thankfully, is just off the entrance drive with its own parking area, so I was able to dive into that quite readily. You may recall that Ossie returned triumphant from Yeovil last Saturday with a marrow , and Mrs O had graciously agreed on Friday to prepare it and bake it with a filling of mince beef and grated cheese, having stared at it though for several days, referring to it very pointedly as “the Annual Marrow”. It is not her most favoured vegetable. But the Ostrich had wheedled and cajoled and praised the feast, and had finally elicited a begrudging “OK, you can get another one, then – but no more after that!” Hence the visit to the Stourhead farm shop – but in the event, they were marrowless!

Onwards, then, round the Frome bypass and down the A36 to the turning for Rode and Trowbridge - only to find it coned off and diversions in place. It’s a notoriously twisty stretch of road and accidents are frequent, although I haven’t been able to find out exactly what the problem was today. Anyway, it meant reversing direction and returning back along the A36 as far as Warminster – quite a hefty bit of extra mileage. I could have attempted to go “cross-country” but I’m not au fait with the minor roads up in that area, so I stuck to the main drag; at least an extra 10 miles on the journey including the traditional crawl through the middle of Westbury, where they have, at last, finished the sewage pipe replacement works which seem to have been going on forever down the High Street.

Before parking up at the ground, I motored on a half-mile or so to the big local retail park, which is resplendent with all the usual suspects – B&M, Dreams, THMaxx, Matalan. KFC. McDonalds – and by gum, it was absolutely rammed! It took me 10 minutes to filter into it and find a parking slot, and nearly 15 minutes to get out afterwards. The target of my visit was the massive Currys PC World store where I spent some time tracking down replacement printer ink cartridges. I was lucky; they had a very limited amount of stock on display, but the Kodak ink I needed was thankfully there.

To the ground, then, and all was well organised for the afternoon’s events. The only thing I missed was the curmudgeonly old geezer on a mobility scooter at the entrance taking the admission and selling programmes. I did enquire after him; apparently he’s still around but a bit frail these days, so has given up the voluntary job. I remember seeing a marvellous picture of him in the local newspaper sitting resplendent on his scooter in the queue of cars for the service hatch at the nearby McDonalds Drive-thru! Glad he’s still OK.

Trowbridge Town’s last two seasons have followed a specific pattern – a reasonably good start and mid-table mediocrity by December, but followed (purely for the purpose of making life interesting ) by a dramatic decline and a last ditch battle to successfully avoid relegation! Cricklade haven’t exactly set the world on fire either, and given that neither side’s pre-season form has been brilliant, I wasn’t expecting too much today. Nevertheless it was a very entertaining game with plenty of goalmouth incident. The home side took the lead on 26m when Mitchell managed to dink the ball in at the far post after receiving a cunning pass across the goalmouth, but finished the half with 10 men thanks to dissent and a sin-binning.

Cricklade got back into the game on 55m with a well-placed penalty, and then, with it being anyone’s match really, notched what turned out to be the winner on 66m; an attacker managed to get a foot to a cross which sent the ball looping up in the air. It looked to me to be going over the crossbar, but in the event it dropped down virtually on the goal line and spun in, despite the home keeper’s despairing efforts to keep it out. Trowbridge’s game went to pot after that and they never looked like salvaging a draw; to add insult to injury in the last minutes their long throw specialist was (slightly harshly) penalised by the referee for a foul throw, and that led to a booking for the home manager, one Ant Ottiviano, who did a very good touchline impersonation of Jose Mourinho!

05/09/20 – Wiltshire Senior League Premier Division – Trowbridge Town 1 Cricklade 2
Admission: £3. Cash or contactless!
Programme: £1 16 pages; of course, never much content in any club’s first programme of the season ....
Refreshments: 60p for a bag of Walkers cheese ‘n onion crisps. Compare and contrast with the £1 I was charged at Glastonbury ….
Covid Rating: 10/10. Contact details taken at entrance, plenty of posters up, only 2 allowed in the tea hut at once and a one-way system past the urn ….
Attendance: 50

Finally, from the town’s FB page:

Does Anyone know where to get around 5kg of Mangelwurzels please?

At least we’ve gone metric ….

[cromwell]

Finally, from the town’s FB page:

Does Anyone know where to get around 5kg of Mangelwurzels please?

At least we’ve gone metric ….

That whirring sound you can hear is Adge Cutler spinning in his grave! Metric indeed. Metric and mangelwurzels do not go together!
Great report Os.
I think I can honestly say that I have never ever seen a marrow on sale.

[Kaz]

Another great report Ossie!

Crommers, come to think of it I don't think I have either The last one I had, several years ago, was given to me by a (I think) grateful client

[Workingman]

Hence the visit to the Stourhead farm shop – but in the event, they were marrowless!

So there is a God, that puts this Atheist in a bit of trouble!

Apparently you can make a decent beer or perhaps wine from mangelwurzels - it matters not the measure, imperial or metric, so long as you use the right amount of sugar and fluid to match. Kilo weight to pint volume would make a real head-acher.

[TheOstrich]

Marrows - yes, you're right, it is very difficult to find a marrow these days. It's only really small, selected independent fruit and veg outlets and farm shops you find them in; I don't think I've ever seen one in a supermarket. [muses] I wonder if it's because they're overtly seasonal, and following on from that, it's now pumpkins which are being grown, harvested and sold in the UK instead....

If I'd thought about it, I ought to have bought 2 from that farm shop near Yeovil (they had 4 on display). But Mrs O would have made me go sit on the Naughty Step.

# marrowgate (well, makes a change from Harrogate, I guess)

[Ally]

Great read Ossie!

I can't recall ever seeing a marrow (I'm sure I must have done) but I know I've never eaten one.

Re packet of crisp prices in the UK. It's around 65 pence for a measly packet. No wonder peeps go for the grab bag/large size for one pound.

[TheOstrich]

First, a minor triumph! We have harvested and eaten our first fig!! Mrs O decided to plant a common or garden ficus carica up against the back fence a couple of years ago, and having established itself and started produced an annual crop of inedible, hard green bullets, we suddenly found this week one which had turned brown and ripened. And very sweet and tasty it was too!

This Saturday saw all the ties played in the First Qualifying Round of the FA Cup, which is usually a red-letter day for non-league ground-hoppers like Ossie, because all sorts of strange fixtures arise and, in this particular area, it brings Cornish clubs across the River Tamar and up into my back yard. So, a no-brainer for Ossie today in Frome Town vs Bodmin Town – but wait ; the wretched Covid virus enters the equation.

Frome Town decided to make their game (400 spectators allowed) all ticket, through online sales only. Well, blow that for a game of soldiers. I’m not pre-booking match tickets at Frome’s level; Yeovil Town still owe me £17 from last season! And what if it rains – both ends at Frome’s ground are open terracing, the seated accommodation which runs down one side would probably take 80 or so by the time you’ve cordoned off two out of every three seats for social distancing protocols, and that leaves 320 drenched fans potentially cramming like sardines under the covered terracing on the far side. Frome Town were trumpeting last Monday they’d sold 150 tickets already and it would be a certain sell-out, no tickets on sale on the day, so that was the final straw and I consigned that particular fixture to the dustbin. (By Thursday, mind you, they’d gone strangely quiet and on Friday they tweeted that they still had 150 tickets unsold so these would be available on the day at the turnstiles. Well, bully for them. They’d already lost my custom.

With the current rise in Covid cases nationally, I’d been thinking of reverting to my original game-plan of picking games where the attendance was likely to be under 100 anyway.

“What criteria do we use when we chose a fixture, Ossie?” I asked.
“It has to be driveable, no public transport,” intoned the Feathered One, sagely.
“Correct. And?”
“And it has to be local - Dorset, Somerset and Wiltshire!”
“Yes. By the way, does that include Fordingbridge?”
“Now don’t you get all technical with me – I’m only a bird-brain”
“Right, well, what else then, Ossie?”
“There has to be a new team which we haven’t seen before, or a new ground to visit”
“OK. And finally?”
“It has to include a team with a silly name so we can keep Frank amused ….”
“Precisely!”
“So ……..”
“It’s looking a bit like Team Gryphon then, isn’t it, Ossie, …..”
“Yup” said the bird.

In this game, never assume. Despite both FA FullTime websites (the old, corrupt “Admin” one and the new, all-singing-and-dancing but totally user-unfriendly “Public” one ) proclaiming today’s venue as the Gryphon School’s 3G pitch in Sherborne, a last minute check on Twitter pointed me to an entirely different ground – The Terrace Playing Fields, which are part of the giant Sherborne Leisure Centre complex. Of course, this is a place I’ve already visited many times, for Sherborne rugby and Sherborne Town soccer, but there are some basic football pitches down at the entrance to the car park which are new to me. The Terrace Playing Fields area is best described as rather like Machu Pinchu, but without the shelter or the facilities, and hosting more midges than your average Scottish glen.

The usual easy drive overland through Buckhorn Weston to Templecombe and Henstridge ensued, only encountering one horse and one rabbit en-route, both of which I managed to avoid. Not as exciting as my last trip that way two weeks ago; back then I was confronted by two goats in the middle of the road! Having arrived and established that I’d got the right ground – I was warmly welcomed by a Team Gryphon player who was mildly amused anyone would be daft enough to want to watch them – I settled down in the car with an old Dick Francis thriller and nearly missed the kick-off!

Team Gryphon are an already well-established and successful Sunday league club who have taken their first steps this season towards operating an adult Saturday side. Starting, of course, at the bottom of the pyramid. Barwick and Stoford Reserves, the opposition team, are based in the village of Barwick which is near Yeovil Junction railway station, and that ground is on my hit list for a visit later this year, all being well.

Barwick Reserves had started their season with a 1-9 home drubbing, but didn’t look anything like that bad today; well, not for the first 20 minutes, but then they quickly conceded three goals. Gryphon’s no.10 was displaying a really fast set of heels, and he completely outpaced a covering defender to clip the ball past the out-rushing keeper for the first goal. Four minutes later, he accelerated through the right-hand side of the defence and volleyed home, 2-0. Gryphon’s no.8 then delivered a perfectly-struck free kick into the top right-hand corner of the net, and their fourth goal on 43m was a peach as well, deliciously curled by no.10 from just inside the box.

Barwick made a slightly better fist of the second half, until Gryphon hit them with another rapid three goal blast, the first of which looked to me to be suspiciously offside , but Barwick did manage to pull a goal back, taking advantage of a fumble by the home keeper. Gryphon completed their comprehensive victory with a final curled 15 yarder on 78m, which just left time for a couple of bookings following a minor bout of handbags, to finish off an excellent game!

12/09/20 – Yeovil & District League Division 2 (Step 13) – Team Gryphon 8 Barwick & Stoford Reserves 1
Admission: free
Refreshments: I didn’t bother investigating if the Rugby Club bar was open. Too far to walk!
Covid Rating: 1/10. Sherborne Town Council had installed a hand sanitiser at the entrance gate to the playing fields, but apart from that - nothing!
Attendance: 16

And finally, from the local FB pages:

Dorset & Wilts Fire Brigade
Our first incident tonight was #Shaftesbury who attended a premises where the occupier had attempted to destroy a Wasp nest using a flame thrower. He had not only set the tree alight but also got significantly stung!

[Workingman]

So where was the silly name? It wasn't just the wassock with the flame thrower that got stung..... I had to read all of that just to get to the 'interesting' bit.


Do you both often have these conversations?
Is a mirror involved?
Doesn't applying sanitiser ruffle the Ostrich's feathers?