Another Load of Cobblers ....

[Kaz]

Imagine issuing your own mum with a lateral flow test kit before visiting!

A great report again Ossie

[TheOstrich]

Kaz, next time you speak to your friends / rellies in Queen Camel (wasn't it?), ask them if they know The Old Parlour. It's only a mile or so from there .....

[Workingman]

I had been waiting for this and it had it all - galloping horses, racing cyclist, handbags, snarling, a female referee and shared fish and chips for £7.50. What's not to like.

Ossie you will soon get used to the Aldi store layouts but you will never get to ignoring all those centre aisle 'bargains' - you will always have a peep. And the checkout thing works quite well as you can leisurely load up your bags instead of frantically dumping stuff in in order not to hold up the queue.

[TheOstrich]

A State Visit this week by Master O on furlough from Hospital Duties, where his main function appears to be announcing over the intercom in a bored, monotonous voice: “The patient with chlamydia symptoms to Room 3, please – chlamydia symptoms, Room 3”. It was good to have a catch up; SiL came over one afternoon for tea and cake, and I was able to use Master O’s services to order a cache of books from Amazon.

The only other highlights of the week were the Ostrich’s 6-monthly fevvur-trimming – “can you make me less like Boris Johnson and more like someone who knows what he’s doing? ” – and that epic task has now risen to the extraordinary, post-Covid heights of £12 for a tidy-up. The barbers shop continues to operate by appointment only, no walk-ins, (so I understand the reduced footfall must necessitate a hike in prices) and interestingly is still pleading for face-masks to be worn at all times; something which it has in common with a number of other local High Street shops who are also still restricting the number of customers in-store. I’d say that although numbers are falling a majority of folk are still wearing masks in shops, and around 20% in the street as well. In contrast, the footie games I’ve attended have seen folk virtually 100% maskless, including in the clubhouses.

And Waitrose actually won a Brownie Point this week – a “colleague” hared out of the door after Ossie with two bottles of Domestos after the bird-brained avian had left them on the self-service checkout till counter . It’s easy to forget when the machine is bombarding you with questions about coupons, receipts, clubcards and shopping bags; well, that’s his excuse anyway. I warmly thanked the shop assistant for her trouble, although it has to be noted that they still have another 149 Brownie Points to earn before they’re to be considered for rehabilitation.

So to Saturday’s festivities, and we’ll start with an unexpected visit to a cricket match!

Hampshire Cricket League Division 4 West
Laverstock CC v Michelmersh & Timsbury CC @ the Laverstock Sports Field

The venue was a pleasant, open ground on the opposite side of the carpark to Wessex League Laverstock & Ford’s pitch (I’d arrived way too early for the soccer). There was a modern-looking, creosoted wooden building in the far corner of the ground which appeared to be a changing room or equipment hut, but in no way could it be construed as a pavilion, so there wasn’t a particular focal point to the ground – mind you, two elderly lady scorers had set up a table on the boundary near the entrance gate and were taking things very seriously – the bird got his tail-fevvers scorched when he ventured to ask them who was batting . A laid-back crowd of 12 was in attendance, dotted around the ground, and it was an idyllic way of passing the hour and a half before the soccer, with the added bonus of watching terrified punters being hurled out of a Cessna at 10,000 feet above nearby Old Sarum Airfield on a GoSkyDive Experience Package. And they say Ostriches are crazy ……

I arrived 3 overs into the game with the visitors on 9-0, and watched play until around 2:45 by which time Michelmersh had progressed to 115-4, thanks to a decent 4th wicket partnership. The wickets were a caught behind, an excellent reflex slip catch, a hoisted dolly to mid-wicket, and a clean-bowled. One of the home quickies was rather erratic and the 100 came up off a wide …..

As for the footie, today saw a repeat performance of last Saturday’s excursion in a way – a trek to Salisbury to watch one of the ex-Combined Counties League clubs newly transferred into the Wessex under the FA’s “Restructuring”; namely Fleet Spurs FC, who I gathered on chatting with a couple of their officials are not perhaps the happiest of bunnies at the enforced sideways move due to the increased travelling involved, but were prepared to make the best of it. However, I do note that they were in the Wessex League back in 2016/17, so this is not exactly unknown territory for them. Back in 2013, they attracted the wrath of a certain North London football club because their club badge incorporated a cockerel which was deemed to “infringe copyright”.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-h ... e-24940529
Personally, I can’t see that the new design is that much different from the old – same bird, bigger border!

My only previous visit to Laverstock’s ground, The Dell, was 4 years ago. I don’t find it the easiest of drives through the middle of Salisbury with its traffic-light controlled roundabouts demanding careful lane discipline, but as mentioned above, I arrived at an unseasonably early 1:15 allowing a pleasant hour and a half watching the local cricket club. The ground still has the two small seated stands unusually set at right angles to each other by the turnstile, with a covered standing area attached to the one behind the goalline. The Social Club dominates in the background and has been recently refurbished throughout; it looks very smart .

Lavvy came into the game on the back of an opening day defeat at New Milton, and set out from the start to put Fleet Spurs to the sword. How on earth the visitors were still in the game at the interval, I’ve no idea. Lavvy should have been at least 3-0 up based on possession and chances, but only had a 7th minute goal from Wakeford to show for it (a direct free kick from the edge of the area driven hard into the corner of the net), whilst Fleet rarely got across the half way line but caught the home defence completely cold on 30m to grab an equaliser. Lavvy’s Jordan Matthews then had two goals disallowed in two minutes with the referee ruling foul play on both occasions .

A different story after the interval once Lavvy started finding the net, but it took a 58m penalty, after Wakeford was brought down well inside the box, and clinically converted by Lovegrove, to open the floodgates. After that, it was only a question of how many, although Lavvy were rather guilty of over-elaboration and occasionally show-boating . Goals followed on 62m, 71m 83m and 88m as the Fleet defence fell apart, and the 6-1 scoreline was a fair reflection of an entertaining game.

So a drive back home at a very leisurely pace, having to follow a tractor and 20’ high stacked hay truck for about 15 miles down the A30. He was too lengthy to pull in anywhere, and the road’s too winding to contemplate overtaking (unless you’re a loon in a SUV – we had two!). No matter, it was quite amusing to watch said tractor going uphill in very low gear trying to overtake a cyclist without stalling ……..

14/08/21 – Wessex League Division 1 (Step 6)
Laverstock & Ford 6 Fleet Spurs 1
Admission: £3 concession (£6 otherwise)
Programme: £1 for a 16pp glossy publication. A bit lightweight in content, perhaps, but it does the business - and in this digital day and age, any paperwork is a welcome bonus!
Refreshments: I remember the last time I came here, they gave away unsold baked pies and pasties for free at the end of the game . Today, unfortunately, the food outlet down by the dugouts wasn’t open, which basically left me with the Social Club. Fodder-wise, there was nothing more than chocolate and crisps on display as far as I could see, not even a cheese cob, so I didn’t bother and saved my money for the by now traditional fish ‘n chips from Mr Lee …..
Attendance: 105

[JoM]

Hope all’s well with Master O!

Sounds a good match Ossie, decent attendance too…shame about the lack of catering though.

We were at Old Trafford not long after 10.30 having left home just after 9. The club were advising people to get there early because chaos was predicted due to roadworks, reduction in tram services and the dreaded new digital tickets causing queues at the turnstiles. Joe wanted a look at the new away shirts (he was already wearing the new home one, having been to Sports Direct the day before) so we went in the shop before heading for the turnstiles at 11, because he then needed the toilet. No queue at all at the turnstile, pat downs have been replaced by hand held detectors, the QR codes worked perfectly on our phones and we headed in to find our new seats.

Our original seats were right up in the Gods, three rows from the very back of the East Stand and a lot of stairs to climb. When we got our season tickets they were the only two seats together at a reasonable price. However, for this season they announced that if season ticket holders wanted to take a year off from going to matches due to Covid (and therefore not pay for their tickets) they could and while they’d be guaranteed to get a season ticket next season they’d be giving up their usual seats and it’ll be pot luck where they end up for 22/23 and onwards.
For those of us who chose to carry on, this opened up quite a number of seats that we could swap to, made all the easier by the new website which showed all available seats (up until this year you’d have to ring the ticket office if you wanted to change location). We’ve managed to move forward by 66 rows and just up from the corner flag, Joe’s seat is next to a low wall and the other side of that is the new rail seating.

Now we’re driving up rather than getting the train I’ve bought a parking pass for the season, so we’re walking 200 yards out of the stadium to the car….which would’ve made for a quick getaway had Joe turned right towards the city centre out of the car park rather than left….90 minutes later we finally got to the M6

[TheOstrich]

Many thanks for that report Jo - it's always nice to see how the other half lives!!

I think non-league catering will come back, after all it's a huge part of the income stream at that level.

Glad your QR codes worked seamlessly; in contrast, at the two Salisbury clubs I've visited in the last fortnight, "Track and Trace" hasn't even been mentioned and no details taken. The Social Club last Saturday did have a signing-in book in the foyer which I assume was for T&T, but everyone I saw ignored it, and there was no compulsion to do otherwise.

Was your seat swapping just for the Leeds match or have you got those seats for the season now? In the second half at Lavvy, I also sat just up from the corner flag - but in contrast to Old Trafford, the stand only has 5 rows of seats, and half of those were "Reserved" for the Directors ....

[Kaz]

Kaz, next time you speak to your friends / rellies in Queen Camel (wasn't it?), ask them if they know The Old Parlour. It's only a mile or so from there .....

Yes, it's Mick's brother and his wife Will do xx

[JoM]

They’re our seats now Ossie until we either decide to move elsewhere or not renew.
Those who opted to take a year out will get to choose from whichever seats are available at the end of this season, it’s just that it won’t be where they’ve been located before. They’ve obviously held enough seats back to be able to do that and they’ll just be put on sale to members for this season.
As for the QR code I mentioned, that was the one on the digital ticket which lets us through the turnstiles. Apart from one on the car park gate I didn’t notice any of the NHS ones.

Hopefully the return of catering won’t be far off, I suppose it’s a bit unknown initially how many supporters are going to be returning so clubs have held off with things like that.

[Kaz]

Getting better seats is a definite bonus, Jo

[Workingman]

Very difficult to get season tickets for Leeds United or Leeds Rhinos unless you had them for the last two years - then its first come, first served. Match tickets are prioritised to former season ticket holders. People like me just take a chance. At least the tech, websites, QR etc, seems to be working.

As for catering....

When I was a trainer with the juniors we would sometimes have three games on the go each Sunday. We put on tea, coffee, cold drinks, burgers, sausage and bacon sarnies, and some cold versions. They brought in so much more money than 'Subs' it was incredible!