“You’re in trouble,” said The Ostrich, archly.
“I know,” I replied.
“They want to know about the refreshments, and you’ve nothing to tell them. They’ll start getting bolshie!
”
“So what are we going to do, Ossie?” I asked the bird.
“We’d better be inventive and buy something on the way to the game …..”
So, Wednesday evening, heading off to Frome, we stopped off at the Co-Op on the way out of town and purchased two Ginsters Cornish Pasties (eat hot or cold) at a specially reduced price of £1 each. One for today and one for Saturday - job done!
I’ve rather given up on midweek games of late due to increasing senility, but it was a pleasant evening and this was an opportunity to watch at team I’ve not seen before - Odd Down (Bath) Reserves. Odd Down’s ground is high up overlooking the city next to the massive Park and Ride base on the southern side of Bath, and it’s a venue I’m quite likely to actually visit before too long, but with the reserves playing tonight’s game locally at Frome Collegians, an opportunity presented itself for an evening out.
We last met Frome Collegians a few weeks ago at Hilperton where they were roundly trounced in a pre-season friendly
. The Frome Collegians pitch is on the top-most part of the Old Showground (no longer used as such, it’s now an open park), quite close to the centre of town, and next to the Selwood Academy who lease out the changing room facilities and parking. I’d forgotten the ground was very exposed and tonight it was decidedly chilly, with a stiff breeze blowing across the pitch throughout the match, so much so that wish I’d brought me long, thick-woven, black-and-white Calne Town FC Supporters Club scarf with me.
We kicked off at 6:15 (no floodlights here, nothing bar a pair of decrepit dugouts, but the pitch is railed and there were a couple of welcome, strategic park benches for a weary Ostrich to park his backside on) and Odd Down Reserves took the lead just before half-time, the linesman signalling that one which hit the underside of the bar, came down and out had in fact crossed over the line. Collegians could have equalised a couple of minutes later in a goalmouth scramble, but the ball didn’t play ball.
They eventually made it 1-1 in the 84th minute with a neat back-header which looped over the keeper. Otherwise, the game was absolutely nothing to write home about - a charitable verdict would be “run-of-the-mill”, and that would be being very charitable!
Corsham Print Wiltshire Senior League (Step 7)
Frome Collegians 1 Odd Down Reserves 1No admission or programme.
Attendance: 40 more or less, although given there’s public footpaths running alongside the pitch, the number of watchers varied constantly.
On Thursday, Mrs O decided she’d better accompany Ossie to Aldi for a bit of a reccie, now that our weekly shopping habits have moved in that direction. Needless to say, as exclusively forecast by Workingman, she was enraptured by the Special Bargains aisles, and we were lucky not to emerge with a garden lantern, an Edexel GCSE Higher Maths revision book
, a Bubble Shuttle (whatever that was – “I though it looked fun!” she said), a handy portable leaf blower, and a pack of small floral mango wood bowls ……..
So to Saturday, and:
“Have you packed that second Ginsters pasty, Ossie?”
“No I haven’t,” muttered the bird.
“Why ever not, birdbrain?”
“Because you ate it as soon as we got back from the Frome game!
”
“Oh ….”
“Don’t worry, I picked up another one in Aldi – here it is,” exclaimed the triumphant Ostrich.
“That’s not a real pasty – that’s a flippin’ cheese and onion concoction,” I complained
.
“Well it only cost 49p”
“Should have bought two, then” I grumbled.
Having read the weather forecast, I decided to head north into what the meteo-geeks
confidently predicted would be a dryer part of Wiltshire, where I had a choice of various games to pick from, and eventually settled on Staverton Rangers. I arrived at 1:20, and needless to say, it was absolutely bucketing it down
. Thankfully, 10 minutes later, the rain suddenly stopped, allowing me to get out of the car and explore.
Staverton play at the Queen Elizabeth II Diamond Jubilee Field which is a fancy name for the Bowerhill Sports Rec. It’s easy to locate, just off the A350 a few miles south of Melksham; turn into the large Bowerhill Industrial Estate, go right at the first roundabout, and the entrance to the car park is around 100 yards or so down Westinghouse Way, which is where your problems start. You have to park on the road because the car park gates are firmly closed, bolted and barred,
so how do you get in the place? I had no idea, and it seemed deserted. I was just about to give up on this game and look elsewhere when a Racing Mini hurtled down the road, did a flypast of the gates, turned round, and screeched to a halt beside me.
“Is this where the football is, mate?
”
“Yes, as far as I know, but it’s all locked up and deserted. Are you players?”
Three young lads and a WAG, all up from Warminster.
“Yes. I'll text the manager and find out what’s happening ….”
Not long after, some home team players arrived, and we discovered there were separate pedestrian accesses to the playing fields, either via a walkway back by the roundabout, or via a narrow track over a rickety wooden bridge further down Westinghouse Way. Don’t drop your car keys going over the rickety bridge because it smelt like a sewer ……..
Having gained entrance to the place, we found a single large breeze-block style building, proudly signed as “The MWPC Pavilion” and declaring itself as the home of “Future of Football FC” which, looking online, appears to be an academy of sorts for u-14 players, as far as I can see. The snappy “MWPC” bit stands rather mundanely for Melksham Without Parish Council
, who have their offices in the building – apart from that, there’s four changing rooms, kitchen and toilets. There are 5 hectares of playing fields on the campus, according to the Parish Council, which translates into 3 full size soccer pitches and a myriad of half-size ones; Staverton Rangers play, needless to say, on the pitch furthest from the Pavilion, tucked in a corner with the massive, mustard-coloured edifice of the Great Bear Distribution Ltd. warehouse as an immediate backdrop. No railings, no football furniture, no nothing. And it’s a 200 yard cross-country plod to get there.
So to the match, and if this was the “Future of Football”, I shall definitely look forward to the start of the “egg-chasing” domestic rugby union season in a couple of weeks’ time
! The first half was absolutely dire, and a timely reminder to all those of us non-league football fans who are seduced by the romance of Step 8 and below “recreation ground” leagues that you don’t always get the entertainment and/or a goal-fest you anticipate. Warminster got through the Staverton defence on 15m, but the keeper blocked the shot; 10 minutes later, Staverton had a decent penalty shout which the referee ignored
, and for the first half, that was more or less it.
The second half saw both teams inject a bit more urgency into the proceedings, but it was pretty obvious neither side could hit the broad side of a barn if they tried
. One attacker managed to head the ball up into the air when standing right in front of an empty net, and later, a direct free kick, central and from the edge of the area, was blasted a good 10 yards wide of the goal. Just when I was resigned to the fact that my current 73-match record streak of games without a goal-less draw was coming to end, the home defence froze and the ball was knocked down to Warminster’s Matt Dyer who gleefully rammed it home (85m)
.
Trowbridge & District League Division 1 (Step 8)
Staverton Rangers 0 Warminster United 1No admission or programme.
Attendance: 5, including the WAG ......