Stories abound about Christmas parties in government, which were against the laws of the day. The media is incensed and goes all out on attack, something has to be done.....
"Simon, as Cabinet Secretary I would like you to hold a (wink, wink) independent inquiry into these allegations."
"Certainly, I'll get on to it straight away and report back in....?"
"A few weeks, maybe months."
"Of course Mr Johnson, Boris."
So says one of the people breaking the law, who is now relieved of duties - shock, horror.
Now I might be a bit thick, but if I was asked to investigate breaches of protocol / law that I had also knowingly broken then I might have declined the investigation offer. Not these people, not the in crowd. They think that they are so far above us that they are immune from normal laws, so off they go on a pretend investigation. Thankfully we still have a few investigative journalists, and they tell us the truth.
It is long past the time for the police to investigate these allegations. There is plenty of evidence that the laws of the day were broken, and by whom. The trouble is that the useless Cressida owes them all a few favours. Rub my back, I'll emolliate yours.