Porn lessons for school children

[Kaz]

Seems a bit shallow and empty to me - how will they go on to form meaningful relationships when sex means nothing to them?

[miasmum]

According to him it's fun and harmless. Not sure whether I think sex is the most important thing in a meaningful relationship anyway Kaz

I think friendship and respect are far more meaningful and express love more than sex does. As he has proved you can have sex with anyone

[Kaz]

No of course not the most important thing, but it's a shame to devalue it to that extent - just my opinion though

TBH Shell I was thinking more from a female perspective - I think most men have always been able to separate sex from emotions, for girls to do the same is a far more recent development, and TBH I'm not sure that many of them still can!

[miasmum]

Yes that is a good point Kaz.

[Suff]

Mrs S used to teach sex ed to 11 year olds in a very disadvantaged school. There was very little that some of them did not know.

However I'm sure she would agree with me that in an internet age, parents who have successfully managed to shield their children from porn should not have it openly discussed in school. We have to recognise that times are different and any information put to children will lead to research.

I'm not really in favour of this before about 14. Bad enough that they tread sex as a casual extension of their lives without introducing porn at this age.

[Kaz]

How can any parent be 100% sure what their children have or haven't seen though Suff? My children have had net nanny on their devices, we only removed it from B's laptop when she started college as it was hindering her homework, it was that strict!

I would not be able to swear, however, that either she or her younger brother had never seen anything unsuitable on a friend's PC or even more likely, a friend's smart phone, tablet or iphone.......

That's the whole crux of this thread - no adult can fully control what a child has access to these days, short of locking them in their room or following them around 24/7...............which is why teaching them safety and self respect is crucial. I don't like it either but that's the world we live in..........

[debih]

Most children now have mobile phones that give them access to the internet and a huge amount have tablets, ipods, etc that also give them access. If your children have these things then it is impossible to monitor what they are viewing 24 hours a day.

S was telling me that the boys at school often stand around sniggering at pictures on their mobile phones. One of them downloads something and then sends it to all their friends. And remember S is only in Yr 8 so these children are aged between 11 and 13. Leaving it until they are 14 is too late - they are already looking at porn.

Sadly no parent can shield their child from everything - unless they home school them and don't allow them to have friends. And it is because of this that they need educating.

As MM said, they already see sex as a pastime that has no emotional implications. My friend has just found out that her 14 year old daughter has been having sex for at least 12 months. She has had a number of partners and thinks nothing to it as "all her friends do it and its just a bit of fun". Fair enough, she has given her daughter far too much freedom (in my opinion) and maybe if she had been stricter with her this wouldn't have happened but then again, maybe she would still have had sex at 13 years old.

I look on S's facebook page regularly and although she is still only playing games, etc and there is nothing untoward on there when I look on her friends pages I am often shocked at what I see. It is the norm for girls to rate each other on their looks and as they get older boys and girls start to rate each other on whether they would have sex with them (smash or pass it's called!).

Everything is sexualised these days. I don't watch the soaps but you only have to read tv magazines to know that they portray lots of relationship things - brothers having sex with each others wives, etc, etc. And soaps are classed as "family viewing". And because the world around is sexualised then children need educating about it.

[cromwell]

As MM said, they already see sex as a pastime that has no emotional implications. My friend has just found out that her 14 year old daughter has been having sex for at least 12 months. She has had a number of partners and thinks nothing to it as "all her friends do it and its just a bit of fun".

That's sad. If God forbid she falls pregnant or gets an STD she will probably find that a lot of those same friends will mock her for it.
The pornification of everything is helping to desensitise us as people, imo.

eta - If "it is just a bit of fun" I can see why marriage is falling in popularity. Developing a long term relationship is going to be much harder if young people just regard sex with whoever as par for the course.

[Kaz]

Debih that's all very true Two of the girls in B's year have had abortions in the two years B has attended college, goodness knows how many might have picked up Chlamydia or similar, with all of the implications for their longterm fertility. B has never had a 'proper' bf, if you get my drift, and I'm glad she has waited - but I expect that will change when she gets to Uni and fair enough, as she will have reached adulthood, but I a glad she regards sex as something for a loving relationship - not necessarily marriage - and not just a sport!

The pornification of everything is helping to desensitise us as people, imo.
eta - If "it is just a bit of fun" I can see why marriage is falling in popularity. Developing a long term relationship is going to be much harder if young people just regard sex with whoever as par for the course.

Cromwell I do so agree

[KateLMead]

And so do I.