...never leave the bag lying around that you have earmarked for the clothes bank when you have a nosey husband!
This has been the scenario after I had a right good (ruthless) clear out:
Rustle rustle...that's himself rootling in the massive Ikea bag into which I had carefully folded all the clothes I no longer want.
Him: (picking out a black and white print dress) "why are you getting rid of this. It's lovely"
Me: "I haven't worn it for a good 2 years, it's a peplum style which doesn't look good on me anymore and I don't want it"
Him: "Oh. That's a shame. I like it."
Me: "Put it back in the bag please Don."
Him: (picking out a flowery dress that used to look nice on me but now makes me look like a walking garden!) "oh, I like this! Keep it. I like it on you."
Me: (sighing) I don't like it anymore. Put it back in the bag please Don."
Him: (having another lucky dip in!) "Now this I do like. I used to love you in this.
Me: (getting slightly peed off) "The clue is the words 'used to'. It's a size 10! Put it back in the bag please Don.
Him: (seriously peeing me off now) "I don't remember ever seeing you in this dress. When did you ever wear this?" he asks, waving a stripey maxi dress.
Me: (realising he's in danger of discovering a few items of clothing I bought and never got round to wearing but had the good sense to cut off the labels! ) "Really? Oh yes. I wore that a couple of times. (Hoping my nose doesn't start doing a Pinocchio!) Put it back in the bag please Don."
At this point I need to get him away from this piggin bag of clothes! Coffee! I need a coffee!
Ooh this is thirsty work Don, I say (making slight gasping dry throat noises ) Could you make me a nice big mug of coffee please.
He's gone off to make said coffee, I'm packing the stuff back in the bag and taking it straight to the clothes bank before he decides to have another rummage!