Four Weddings and a Penalty Shootout

[cromwell]

Blimey Os, who was driving the train, Casey Jones?

But I trust that you really didn't wear the mankini?!

Great match report as usual, you have a real talent for this. I like reading the travel details just as much though.

[TheOstrich]

04/11 – the first game of the week on Wednesday saw Ossie hurtle round the bend into the driveway down to Yeovil Town’s main carpark, only to hurriedly throw out all the anchors and screech to a halt as he found the gates across the entrance firmly locked! A more cautious circumnavigation of the ground found the smaller carpark on the far side of the stadium open, and I asked the security lady if the game was on. “Oh yes, but we’re only expecting 500 people, if that, tonight – errr, you’d better move, because there’s a fire engine right behind you!” True, but no emergency; apparently they were only doing a publicity photo-shoot before the match.

I don’t know what it is about women’s football. One cannot deny that there were two skilful, competitive teams out there tonight, but much of the time it’s rather like watching paint dry – a nice decorative shade of Farrow & Ball, undoubtedly, but nevertheless paint.

We’d had two goals rather out of the blue – for the home team, Gemma Evans’s long ball into the box on 34m that everyone in the goalmouth missed, and Sarah Wiltshire’s chipped equaliser for Spurs on 63m – and around the 85m mark, I was looking forward to the end, when someone behind me said, “if it’s a draw, it’s extra time, and if you win it in extra time, you get 2 pts instead of 3pts, but if it’s still a draw at the end, it’s 1 pt each.” What?? I thought this was a straight 90 minute game in what was a cup stage grouping, like the Champions League or the Europa League! What gimmickry was this? Was I looking at another 30 minutes of tedium in a stone-cold concrete stadium? Could I even afford another cup of Bovril at the larcenous prices they charge? Horror! Then someone in front of me asked a passing official. “No, it’s straight to penalties,” he said. It was one league point each in the event of a draw, plus a bonus point for the winners of the shootout, apparently; I’ve since checked the FA’s website.

Thank goodness, but that presented another problem. As I’ve repeatedly pointed out , my sole claim to fame is that in 50 years of watching soccer, I’ve only ever seen one live penalty shootout. Yet on at least 5 or 6 occasions now, I’ve been denied the penalties by a last minute goal, or a goal in injury time. The last time this happened was back in September when good old Harry Beckley notched Shaftesbury’s winner in the Wessex League Cup against Whitchurch United in the 92nd minute. The electronic scoreboard was now ominously glaring “90:00” – Arggggh!

At which point Spurs’ Ronnell Humes pursued a speculative through ball, looked up, saw home keeper Beth Howard rushing out towards her – and neatly lobbed it into the far corner!

Record intact, I was probably the only punter in the sparse crowd who left the stadium with a beatific smile on their face. It is of stuff like this that legends are made …..

FA WSL Continental Cup Group 2 South: Yeovil Town Ladies 1 Tottenham Hotspur Ladies 2
Admission: £3, programme: Free. 8pp glossy, which could be read in under 20 seconds.
Raffle: £1. 820 won it, thankfully, I had 831. Quite what I would have done with a framed, autographed photo of Yeovil’s Nadia Lawrence, I’m not entirely sure …..
Refreshments: £4 for an admittedly decent sized Cornish oggy pasty, but an eye-watering £2.20 for the Bovril. Attendance: 283

To Saturday, and it was a bedraggled bird that staggered up, suffering from a heavy head-cold. Probably the effects of Huish Park on the previous Wednesday. A planned potential foray to the far side of Southampton was ruled out, as Ossie thought it wiser to stay very local. I started out for the 5 mile trip to watch soccer up the road at Mere Town, but once I was on the move, decided to be slightly more adventurous ....

In the lower reaches of the South West rugby union pyramid, a small number of stand-alone clubs exist alongside the more established clubs’ second and third XVs, and I am slowly working my way through them. Dinton (or to give them their full title Dinton Barbarians) were originally South Wilts RUFC, but have moved around a bit, eventually locating themselves in Dinton village, a pleasant mix of thatched and tiled housing lying in the Nadder Valley about 8 miles west of Salisbury, where they share the recreation ground with the local cricket club. Across the valley are deep woods, but there’s rivers and lakes nearby, and during the game, I watched two swans climb up in perfect formation and fly off to the west. The rugby ground lies just north of the B3089, you can see the goalposts from it, and access is from St Mary’s Road, which runs up the west side of the ground to the church. Parking is on this narrow road, and is OK, but tuck right into the grassy bank. The recreation ground is completely open; the pitch neither railed nor roped, and it slopes quite noticeably down towards the B road. At the bottom end is a small sports pavilion, funded by a Sports Council grant and opened by the 2nd Lord Margadale of Islay (a big name in horse racing circles) in 1982. The public room has a small kitchen, and lots of cricket club mementoes including a tribute to a certain Ben Coombes who scored 204 not out in a one-day match back in 2010. I was chatting with an elderly guy there, and he told me he had been the home umpire at that game; Coombes’ last 150 runs came off just 20 overs. The pavilion has a small veranda, useful on a day where the odd rogue shower swept over the valley.

Dinton were promoted up from Level 10 at the end of last season and have struggled a bit this year, Dorchester Seconds record isn’t a lot to write home about either, and on paper this should have been a close game. Early honours went to Dorchester with a 10th minute converted try following a fumble by a home player on the line, but Dinton then scored two tries in two minutes to take lead, which lasted just three minutes before completely catastrophic defending let in Dorchester’s full-back for their second try, 12-14. Two further away tries, including a dive over the top of a ruck of defenders consolidated Dorchester’s lead but right on the interval, a Dinton player chased and caught a kick over the top and shrugged off two defenders to make it an interesting 19-26 at the interval, with the home team having the advantage of playing down the slope in the second half.

To increase this tactical advantage, Dinton attempted to restart the game with 16 players , but the referee fortuitously conducted a head count. There was some muttering on the sidelines that they might have been playing with one man too many at the end of the first half as well, but nothing could be proven. After that, however, it got a lot worse for the home side when on 44m when their no.12 was red-carded for a blatant punch . The incident was right in front of me on the touchline (I had to take two rapid steps backwards as it unfolded!) and I know that it was retaliation for a punch originally landed on him; however, the referee didn’t register the initial incident, and the Dorchester player got away without a sanction. Such is their rarity, I can’t remember when I last saw a red card shown in a rugby game. “Lucky the referee didn’t see the first blow,” I muttered to a Dorchester coach standing next to me. “Indeed, “ he quietly observed.

Four minutes later, a Dorchester player was correctly sin-binned for a high tackle, and Dinton took advantage when their no.9 took a quick penalty and rushed over from 15 yards. 24-26 and anyone’s game, but Dorchester got a shove on in a scrum about 5 yards out; in the melee, the ball ran loose over the line before being pounced on by an attacker, and the referee signalled a try. Hang on, we thought, that was a knock on, surely – no try! Whilst we were still debating it, the referee ear-holed us and came over to where we were standing. “I awarded a penalty try,” he told us, “the Dinton pack stood up as they were being forced back, in order to kill the scrum.” No arguing with that! And it was the beginning of the end for the home side. Dinton wilted and Dorchester crossed the line three times in the final quarter.

An excellent, competitive and occasionally feisty match, sensibly refereed with minimum fuss to keep it nicely flowing. But in the scheme of things, a game which Dinton could ill afford to lose, I suspect.

Wilts & Dorset 2 South (Level 9): Dinton RUFC 29 Dorchester II RUFC 47
Admission / Programme: None. Refreshments: Diet Coke can £1, serve yourself from the fridge in the pavilion; just put your money in the cash tin on the bottom shelf. And I stopped off at the local stores in Fovant on the way back and treated myself to an 85p Fry’s Chocolate Cream bar …..
Attendance: 64

[Ally]

Explain please. Oggy pasty??

£2.20 for Bovril?? That's a decent sized jar in my UK living memory!

Fry’s Chocolate Cream bar …..my mum would love you!!

Thanks for a superb report Ossie!!!

[TheOstrich]

Oggy Oggy Pasty, Ally! A "proper" deep-filled Cornish pasty with crimped pastry and a tasty spiced meat and potato filling. None of yer Ginsters pasties ....

http://www.oggyoggyfranchise.com/whoweare

That £2.20 for a cardboard cup of Bovril was ridiculous I gather they had a fans forum at the Yeovil Town club recently, and the match-day catering was well up there in the list of complaints .....

[Ally]

Aaah. Now I get it with the Oggy.

I spent a huge amount of my childhood Saturday afternoons attending footy matches at Fir Park (Motherwell) and also at Ibrox & Parkhead (now Celtic Park) as getting tickets for games was so much easier.

Dad had 6 brothers - I was such a tomboy I used to go everywhere with them. Including footy games.

Our half time grub was a Scotch pie and a Bovril

Happy, happy memories.

[Kaz]

Bovril???? I always used to have a hot OXO drink, after swimming with my friends

I absolutely deny all knowledge of the Cadbury outlet shop here selling multi-packs of Fry's Chocolate Cream bars

[TheOstrich]

I absolutely deny all knowledge of the Cadbury outlet shop here selling multi-packs of Fry's Chocolate Cream bars

There's one at the Clarke's Shopping Village in Street, apparently. We may be going soon. I shall have to contrive to lose Mrs O on the campus ....

Ally, I've only been to a few Scottish grounds. Back in the 1970's you could buy an advance return ticket from Birmingham to Glasgow / Edinburgh for £4. The train, the "Midland Scot" left New Street around 8:00 and got in around 12:30 ish. The return train was round 5:45 from memory. Generally this worked well (apart from one occasion the locomotive on the return journey broke down at Oxenholme in the Lake District and we didn't get back until 3 in the morning!)

From memory:
1. Rangers. They beat St Johnstone 1-0. Possibly the worst game I have ever seen. In fact I had to leave early, as everyone else was walking out of it also, and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to get on a subway train back to the city.
2. Celtic. I think they beat someone 3-0, no idea who, now.
3. St. Mirren (?) (it was at Love Street, Greenock). I was cross that they failed to issue a programme for the game - I gather some Scottish clubs can be serial offenders ....
4. Queens Park (Hampden Stadium). Only around 500 souls rattling around in that stadium. I sat high in the stands in solitary splendour, and was so engrossed in reading a paperback, I failed to note the teams come out and start the match!
5. Meadowbank (the old Commonwealth Stadium in Edinburgh). I believe they subsequently relocated to Livingston and changed their name.
6. Partick Thistle. Ye gods! I had to walk from the subway through the old, deserted Glasgow tenements, trying not to catch the eye of the feral alsations roaming around. No wonder Maryhill was the setting for "Taggart" ...

Happy days, nevertheless!

As for the Scotch pies, yes, I did try them whilst up there, but found them a bit of an acquired taste. I remember I bought one somewhere in the Glasgow city centre and it was particularly ropey .... what seasoning do they have?

[Ally]

Mace, nutmeg, salt & white pepper.

I was brought up on them and loved them.

[JoM]

Every bloody week I read this thread and go away feeling hungry. 10.19am and I'd kill for a pasty and a cup of Bovril

John's lot are all staunch Celtic supporters. His Grandad's even buried in the cemetery next to the ground.

[cromwell]

£2.20 for a bovril should be a criminal offence! The last goal sounded to be a good one though. Quite a contrast in catering and attitude at the rugby club compared to the football club.