Another Load of Cobblers ....

[Workingman]

Another good read. Just imagine if that last NDRFC foray had ended in a converted try the score would have been 20-19!

I am now trying to think what rude word could rhyme with "Director" but keep coming up blank.

Maybe something in the local dialect?

[TheOstrich]

Another good read. Just imagine if that last NDRFC foray had ended in a converted try the score would have been 20-19!

Absolutely - when that move finally broke down, one of the North Dorset management team happened to be standing on the touchline in front of me.
What he said was long and unrepeatable , and there wouldn't have been enough room on the back of a canvas chair to stitch it if you'd tried!

[cromwell]

"Bless me, how unfortunate."??

[TheOstrich]

"Bless me, how unfortunate."??

Not quite .....

No report from Ossie this weekend. Only mad dogs would go out in this, certainly not Ostriches.

The bird did contemplate Shaftesbury v Alresford up on the artificial pitch, but parking's a bit iffy at Cockrams these days and I didn't fancy walking from the town's Angel Street pay and display car park.
The only other feasible alternative (petrol is still scare in these 'ere parts) was back to the rugby club, but there's no cover for spectators, and at 2:38, it started absolutely chucked it down , so I didn't even contemplate it.
One of those few occasions when the BBC Weather app's "100% chance of precipitation" was actually accurate ....

[Workingman]

It is very quiet here. Usually by now the YMCA pitches are up and running, but not a peep. It's not a Covid thing, that ended weeks ago, so it must be fuel related, but all the garages are open.

[TheOstrich]

The bird has been looking very worried all this week . It all stems around a new BBC 1 series with Attenborough called “The Mating Game”. Ossie is concerned that he and his fellow Ostriches have been under the spotlight and their um…. habits have been laid open to scrutiny . As I understand it, Ossie’s technique is to stand in the middle of the street and let out a loud boom, like a plane going through the sound barrier . This is supposed to attract female Ostriches. One of our Ossie’s guilty secrets is that he has to use a megaphone these days in order to make himself heard …..

The female Ostriches, having met Ossie, then set off on a half-marathon, and the bird has to keep up with them ! The poor bird is exhausted by the time he reaches the end of the course, and then the females insist that he performs a dance for them, Strictly-style . Ossie certainly cannot tango or rumba; the best he can do is a half-hearted break-dance. At the end of that, he is then allowed to, how shall we put it, perform – but he’s now beyond caring and just wants a lie-down and a nice hot cuppa tea ......

I also saw that the Ostrich was looking a bit shifty on Wednesday after the post had been delivered. In it was an anonymous 2nd class letter, hand-written envelope, addressed to “The Resident(s), The Nest, Ostrichville”

“Oh dear, you been annoying the neighbours again, Ossie?” I enquired.
Frantic denials.

Turned out it was from the Jehovah’s Witnesses, of all people . Seems like if they can’t beard you on the doorstep because of Covid, they’ll now start writing to you. You can run – but you can’t hide!

Saturday morning, we had our flu jabs up at the local Surgery. It only has a small car-park so attendees were asked to walk if at all possible. I can walk it in about 20 minutes, a pleasant trek up alongside the river bank, but Mrs O isn’t so spry these days, so we chatted it through and left the Nest around 50 minutes before our appointment times. It was a lovely misty morning stroll, with large coos eerily looming out of the murk in the neighbouring fields , but it only took us 30 minutes; we arrived up at the Surgery well early. Nobody queried us – in fact, I think we arrived just when there was a lull in punters, so they were pleased to see us – and we were in and out inside 3 minutes and well on our way home by the time at which our appointments had been set. No ill-effects yet, not even a painful arm.

A very misty morning turned into a glorious afternoon so off to the footie in the afternoon.

I’m trying to remain local at present to conserve petrol (although the crisis at the pumps now seems to have abated somewhat in this area, and I was able to get a fill-up last week), so I had pre-planned a choice from three games within a 10 mile radius of home; unfortunately, two of those games were Dorset League fixtures, and they turned out to have been withdrawn after the league apparently took a decision to cancel all games for a fortnight due to the fuel issues! And I didn’t realise they’d done this until late Saturday morning – "must pay more attention, boy" (as my Physics teacher used to say)!

Thankfully, the third match was a Yeovil & District League fixture, and this went ahead, although one on-going problem down here at the moment is a distinct lack of referees – I understand local leagues are 5-10% down on the number of officials compared to pre-Covid. Some games are by necessity taking place with a referee appointed from one of the two club’s management teams, by mutual agreement, and whilst this is not exactly satisfactory, needs must. However, for this afternoon’s encounter, after some frantic ringing around by the Cherries’ manager, the home team acquired the services of local resident and qualified referee Mark Chinook, whom I last saw running the line three weeks ago, at Western League Wincanton Town’s Step 6 game. He was really slumming it today at Step 13 (!) , but full marks to him for turning out at short notice.

This was my first visit to Vernalls Field since 2018, and I luckily remembered the key navigational direction, which is turn first right just past the duck-pond in Horsington! That’s Lower Lane, and the football ground is behind the attractive St. Margret’s Hall building (the village community centre), which includes the changing rooms.
https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@51.01555 ... 312!8i6656

There is ample parking in the lengthy lay-by alongside the road, although it was also possible to park today on the grass just inside Vernalls Field itself (accessed through that the gap in the hedge to the left of the hall). Inside the ground, I found that the second (full-size) pitch, previously allowed to “return to nature”, had been brought back into use – this lies alongside the main pitch, between it and the entrance gate. There’s a line of crash barriers separating the two pitches, and the two breeze-block dugouts, also stand between them, and are configured to serve both pitches. All-in-all, it’s an idyllic, open venue with sweeping views eastwards across the Blackmore Vale, although it’s not a ground I’d want to visit if the weather’s bad .

A routine win for the table-topping Cherries Reserves, who are newly-formed this season; in fact they never needed to get out of second gear. I was told the Reserves are arguably a more talented squad than the First team! It was 4-0 at the interval, with goals on 11m, 20m (a 30 yard lob which dropped just under the bar, the keeper scrambling back, although to be fair to him, the low sunlight might have distracted him), 34m and 35m. The home team were cutting through the Pen Mill defence at will and could easily have had two of three more. They then started the second half by missing a sitter, before adding further goals on 63m and 80m. Pen Mill had very little to offer up front and the home keeper looked quite comfortably competent whenever he was called into action. Pen Mill scored a soft penalty on 84m, (to make this my fourth 6-1 result this season in 14 games ), but that was merely a consolation goal; in fact the Cherries went straight down the other end and a 15 yard drive hit the bar, coming down and out. With a bit more determination, Cheriton might easily have recorded double figures today – overall, an entertaining afternoon.

09/10/21 - Yeovil & District League Division 2
South Cheriton United Reserves 6 Pen Mill Athletic Reserves 1
No admission charge
No refreshments available on-site; in fact the nearest shop is probably 3 miles away in Templecombe!
Attendance: 13

A final note, regarding Facebook. In our town, we have a very active public Facebook group, with over 13k registered members, slightly more than the town’s population! It is an excellent was of seeing what’s going on and keeping up to date, and because it’s a public group, you can read the posts without necessarily being a member – not wanting to actually join Facebook, this has always been my technique.

Unfortunately, Facebook have been tinkering with the rules around public groups, possibly to do with Freedom of Speech. Up to now, the town group has had the ability to “approve” members for posting (i.e. join the group) so lurkers, like Ossie, couldn’t actually post any comments on it. No problem, as far as I'm concerned. But FB have done away with this admin privilege, and basically anyone can join without pre-approval and post; in consequence, they have had a lot of spammers, sellers and other undesirables posting on the group, and the admins could no longer block them .
As a result, the admins have taken the decision to make it a private group so they could keep control of their membership – and that means Joe Public can no longer read the pages.

So I’ve had to ditch my principles and open a FB account, so I can still see what’s going on. Regrettable, but as it’s such a good source of local information, the pros outweigh the cons.

I texted Master O and mentioned what I’d done. The response? I’ll quote it verbatim:

OMG, DAD’S JOINED FACEBOOK!
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Someone’s in for an ear-clipping next time I see him ….

[cromwell]

Great read Os.
We will be getting our flu jab at the local chemist.
Master Os! The younger generation eh?
No respect!

[Workingman]

Another good read, thanks Ostrich.

As for your buddy and Faceache. Tell him to do a search "Hide my profile on Facebook" on how to hide his own profile from the hoi polloi and undesirables, but beware not all of them work. He might have to 'suck it and see' for a while. I think limiting it to Friends, inc the private group, might work.

I get my flu jab tomorrow. No news yet about the Covid booster.

[Kaz]

Ossie

[JoM]

LOL Ossie

I had my flu jab at Lloyd’s in Sainsbury’s on Monday night, Joe got his too and Tom went the week before. Our surgery haven’t got supplies for the under 65s yet. They’ve completed vaccinating the over 65s though. We took my Dad for his Covid booster on Sunday. It wasn’t as well organised as when we went previously, same place same organisers. We had to stand outside in a queue for a while and once inside joined another queue before being directed to a side room with eight chairs and just one nurse working her way around the eight. It looks at the moment that they’re holding a weekly booster clinic each Sunday and I’ve worked out that me and Joe should be due our boosters on the 31st.

Joe had football withdrawals on Saturday so took himself off to Keys Park to watch Hednesford v Hitchin Town, it finished 2-2. He said there was a decent crowd, 600+….he paid £10 at the turnstiles though.