Another Load of Cobblers ....

[TheOstrich]

No real adventures for Ossie during last week, just a walk (on a very blustery day) into town go visit the building society, where one of the bird’s Nest Eggs has hatched . Being a 1-year Fixed Rate ISA, the building society had written proposing a roll-over into a new bond at 0.50% interest, but I usually find that actually visiting the branch can result in getting a better rate, and this time, they tipped me the wink to hold fire for another week as there was a savings rate rise being mooted, with interest possibly as high as 0.85%. So I thanked them very much, and said in the immortal words of Arnold Schwarzenegger: “I’ll be back!”

Then to Asda, to price out the cost of tins of Campbells Condensed Soups, which have now reached £1.15 in Waitrose . There were on display in Asda at just £1, although the choice was limited to Chicken, Chicken or Chicken. So I bought 4 cans, thus achieving a saving of 60p (“Every Little Helps” ) and promptly converted it into a tin of Asda brand Chicken Meatballs in Tomato Sauce (63p). Which I had on toast last night - and they were execrable ….

As for the weekend’s sport, a quick revisit to Slaughtergate as North Dorset RFC continue their charge towards promotion, and I continue my charge towards knocking off all the remaining teams I need to see in Dorset & Wilts Division 1 (South) whilst I can! I commented back last September that ND were a lightweight team and would achieve little this year, having watched their opening game loss against Bournemouth 3rds. Since then, however, they have won 12 out of 13 matches and now lead the table (although Blandford can, in theory, overtake them).

Various websites touted different kick-off times for this fixture, so I worked on the assumption it would be 2:00 which turned out to be correct.

Not quite as one-sided a game as the final score-line suggests, but a comfortable win for the home side nevertheless. North Dorset caught two lucky breaks, one each side of half-time. A penalty try awarded on 41m to make the interval score 17-3 was the first; it does seem to me that referees are much more inclined to award penalty tries for infringements this season compared to previously - they used to be as rare as hen’s teeth; this one was at least my third this year.

The home side’s second break was a sin-binning on 42m of a Swanage & Wareham player for a high tackle – North Dorset scored twice during the time S&W were reduced to 14 men to make it 31-3. After that, ND ran in a further 3 tries with S&W notching a consolation try with an interception and 50 yard return from their No.7.

As last week, North Dorset’s pack were in fine fettle, constantly pushing the away team’s forwards backwards, and the back line played much better today with some fast breaks and searing runs, especially down the left wing. However, a strong cross-field breeze made kicking difficult and only 2 conversion attempts were successful.

S&W set out to disrupt, with some success in the first half causing North Dorset to play too hurriedly at times, but once the home side had established a commanding lead, they settled down and dictated the game. A second S&W player was sin-binned towards the end for handbags with menaces , but the game was well over by that point.

At half-time, I was able to shelter in the clubhouse bar and watch a bit of the Six Nations, Ireland vs Wales. Normally, I’d support Wales in this, but I simply can’t associate myself with any team sponsored by Cazoo. It’s that bearded actor Rylan Clark I can’t stand. Actually, I may be getting muddled up with Cinch ….

05/02/22 – Dorset & Wilts 1 South (Level 8)
North Dorset RFC 46 – Swanage & Wareham II RFC 8
Admission: free
Programme: none
Refreshments: again, no trace of the on-line advertised £5 soup and cheese offer, so a beefburger £3 and half-time coffee £1. The former passable, (let’s face it, rabbit food is no substitute for fried onion ) whilst the latter tasted better taken black and without the sweetener I put in last week …..
Attendance: 86, well down on last week no doubt due to the weather

https://www.facebook.com/96524204018615 ... 067583111/
A slab of ale? Why not a barrel!

[Kaz]

Trying to work out how the beer doesn't run off the slab

Another good read, Ossie Nice saving on the soup xx

[miasmum]

You are, Rylan is in the ads for Cinch, so you may now once again support Wales Ossie

[Workingman]

Has the Ostrich fallen out with football or is it so badly organised that he just cannot be bothered?

At least the rugger gets more of an attendance than an Ostrich and one man and his dog.

And poor old Mr Lee's emporium will be going bust with all these other food purchases of later. Loyalty, Ostrich, loyalty. Support your local chippy coz you'll miss it when it's gone.

[TheOstrich]

Has the Ostrich fallen out with football or is it so badly organised that he just cannot be bothered?
At least the rugger gets more of an attendance than an Ostrich and one man and his dog.
And poor old Mr Lee's emporium will be going bust with all these other food purchases of later. Loyalty, Ostrich, loyalty. Support your local chippy coz you'll miss it when it's gone.

No, it's just the way that the fixtures have fallen. I've been trying to stick to my "no more than 10 miles from home" rule to save fuel costs, and still try to see a new team each week.
Forward planning is the key, and I'm good to mid-March as things stand at the moment - and it's back to soccer next week.

14:00 and 14:30 kick-offs at the moment mean I'm back home and settled down before Mr Lee starts firing up his fryers. Once the clocks change, and kick-offs revert to 15:00, he should be back in the frame for a Saturday Night Fish Supper.

Thanks for the correction, MM!
And yes, that puzzled me as well, Kaz

[cromwell]

Sin bins? Penalty tries?
All these modern rules, it's not like it was when I were a lad, eeh by gum, chunter chunter....
No subs in them days, tha knows..
Sounds like a good watch though Os, and a good report as ever.
Yes, we do that. Save money on some items then spend it on another which may or may not be OK!

[TheOstrich]

“Well that’s torn it,” said the Ostrich, smugly.
“Shut up, bird!” I replied.
“So who’s going to tell Mrs O you’ve pranged her car, you or me?”
“Ostrich, if I had a pot big enough, I’d boil you in oil and serve you up with fava beans!”
“You never did like those solicitors, did you?”

It’s true, I have never particularly liked those solicitors. They acted for the party who sold The Nest to us back 5 years ago, and inadvertently mucked us around royally in the process. The big bone of contention was that they seemingly failed to tell BT that the sale had gone through, and that resulted in us being without landline and broadband for over a month. So, if asked, no, I wouldn’t recommend them, but my attempt to demolish their offices with the car on Monday was purely a parking mishap - from which their building emerged totally unscathed, and the back end of the Ostrichmobile somewhat dented!

To make matters worse, I was only trying to park in the road there so I could deliver a donation of books to a nearby charity shop. As my MiL used to say, somewhat wryly: “No good deed goes unpunished …”

I did confess to an understanding Mrs O (“let those who have never dinged their car cast the first stone ”), but the penalty, as usual, was financial. Down to the shops the following day, where Mrs O bought a new kitchen mop (£17.99) – one of those things where you fit a Flash-impregnated wipe over the business end – and I bought a new 32” Panasonic HD TV (£329), which the local Euronics store in Stur actually delivered the following day.
The Ostrich, always keen to join the fun, went into the adjacent Bulgarian Food Shop and emerged waving a Nykahka.

“What the heck’s that, Ossie?”
“I’ve absolutely no idea – but it was reduced to £2.49 …..”

I still await a proper ding repair estimate, but the local garage says it could be £250-£300.

So, to the footie, and my first visit to Milborne Port’s Springfield Road ground for a few years. The venue is easy to find; just go straight up Station Road from the A30, and Springfield Road is off on the right at the north end of the village.

The car park behind the large, Dutch-barn style village hall is quite spacious and it’s an easy amble from there to the football club’s changing room block and pitches. The outside of the (once) white-painted changing rooms displays two signs saying “Please do not kick balls against this building”, both of which were surrounded by circular-shaped brown muddy imprints.
There are two pitches, side by side, separated by the width of a roped-off cricket square, and in the bottom corner of the lower pitch, you can find three ancient, locked metal huts, which do not look as if they would be much of an adequate bomb shelter if Putin starts chucking his missiles about next week. This lower pitch sports two dug-outs, each side of the cricket square so I assume they must be moveable, and there is indeed a cricket pavilion between the village hall and the soccer to complete the buildings on site.
Bournemouth Electric, the visitors, and an, old established Dorset works side founded in 1935, won the reverse fixture 9-1 back in October and are currently divisional leaders, whilst their hosts are floundering at the other end of the table. Milborne Port are one of those clubs where the first team has folded during the pandemic, leaving the more junior teams to carry on. The Reserves are effectively the first team. Milborne Port “A” were also at home today, and with both away teams playing in blue, I had to enquire which game was which.

I guess Bournemouth Electric Co. was very important in that the town had an extensive trolleybus system. I recall riding on them back in the late 1950's when on holiday in that seaside resort, and for those interested, there a nostalgic video here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=055SXuJ7FX4

Back to the game, and some consternation just before the start, when Milborne Port could only find two of the four designated match balls.

“I swear they were all in the dugout …”
“Well, someone’s nicked them as practice balls, then.”

After much excavation, one was eventually located underneath a hedge at the far end of the ground, but the fourth never came to light, as far as I’m aware. Suspicion was cast on the “A” team …..

It took 22m for Electric to get on the score sheet, but once they’d made the initial breakthrough, there was no doubting where the match points were going. 0-3 up at half-time, their no.9 scored a hat-trick in 5 minutes straight after the interval. The first two were tap-ins – the second of them after some superb approach work down the wing and a lucky rebound of someone’s backside in the area – and the third a run through the middle and cool conversion. The home spectator next to me declared it was “miles offside” ; my view was that it was marginal.
Further goals followed at regular intervals, with the final goal coming on 89m when Electric’s no.3 chased after a long up-field ball, the club linesman flagged offside, the referee indicated play on, the no.3 slotted the ball home, someone on the home bench went bananas at the decision, and was promptly booked for his trouble ! The Electric player had certainly started from well inside his own half as the ball was played forward.

One amusing moment in the second half when Electric’s no.6, on the ball, hared down the left touchline in front of me. A Milborne Port defender, running back, came in at an angle to cover him. The Electric player suddenly executed a perfect sliding tackle move, knocking the ball into touch – with the bemused defender standing upright several yards away from him ! The Electric man, flat on his back, burst out laughing – as did the referee, the Ostrich, and the whole Bournemouth Electric bench. “I thought the b***** was going to come in on me!” explained the rueful no.6.

Electric looked a very good team today – calm, composed and clinical throughout, individually skilful on the ball and rock-solid in defence. They used both wings well, working the ball into the area, and half their goals were scored from close range in front of goal. I’m fairly sure this is only the second time I’ve seen a side hit double-figures in a game, and they could easily have had 3 or 4 more.

On the top pitch, in a Yeovil & District League 2 game, Milborne Port “A” had little better luck against Ilchester Juniors Colts, losing 0-2 to two first half goals, the first of which was a superb strike on 30m by Will Hall. The home team never looked like coming back from that, and Colts had at least one second-half effort cleared off the line. Not a good day for Milborne Port!

12/02/22 – Dorset League 1
Milborne Port Reserves 0 – Bournemouth Electric 10
Admission: free
Programme: none
Refreshments: half-time mug of tea from the kitchen £1.
Attendance: 9, in fact there were more watching the more junior “A” game ….

[Ally]

That half-time refreshment made me laugh.

Would you not secrete a Scooby snack on your person for occasions such as this?

Great read Ossie....pranggate made me giggle.

[Kaz]

Ossie I did enjoy that video, I love social history xx

[cromwell]

Not a good day for Milborn Port indeed.
Useless fact of the day. Milborn Port is a character in the novel Deadline, by Tim Heald. I think Mr Heald used a few West Country place names for characters in his novels.
Bad luck with the car Os, we've all done it.