Mad Birds and Cornishmen

[Kaz]

Wow Jo! Even Dick Turpin wore a mask!

[TheOstrich]

I’m conscious this season that I’ve been re-visiting a number of grounds on a regular basis, so when I do, I think I’ll just post an abbreviated match report so as not to be repetitive and therefore boring!

Last Saturday was a case in point - I didn’t fancy yet another Siberian afternoon at some remote rural recreation ground, so stuck with Plan A on the Master Spreadsheet and made my eighth visit of the season to Coppice Street to see Shaftesbury play Blackfield & Langley, a team I’ve not caught up with before.

Blackfield & Langley hail from Fawley way, alongside Southampton Water. They’re probably best known this season for having their goalkeeper Connor Maseko sent off for attending to a call of nature behind a bush during an FA Cup tie with Shepton Mallet, which was, amongst other things, a violation of FA Rules. He's still with the club, but wasn't named for this game.

So far this season I’ve seen the Rockies lose at home to the bottom two clubs - Alresford and Pagham - but today they didn’t make any mistakes against another side in the relegation mix, and should really have won by a minimum five or six goals. Superb approach work, spearheaded by Ashley Pope and Tyler Forbes on the right wing - but unfortunately Shaftesbury lacked anyone to put the numerous chances away. They dominated the first half, but led only thanks to a 10th minute own goal, a central defender gliding a header past his out-rushing keeper. It looked like a classic case of mis-communication.

After the interval, Shaftesbury made it safe with the Watersiders managing a consolation goal late in the game. An entertaining but pretty one-sided affair; Blackfield & Langley were lucky not to have suffered a right drubbing but Shaftesbury’s inaccuracy in front of goal, especially during the first half, spared them a much heavier defeat. The final score was 4-1.

The crowd was pretty low, only 45, as it was absolutely perishing out there. I walked round the perimeter of the pitch twice to avoid freezing up. Refreshments, declared to Mrs O, included a steak pie £2.50, a Chunky KitKat £1, and two cups of tea £1 each.

The diet, shall we just say, continues to have its ups and downs …..

[Ally]

What a great read Ossie!
Todd Carty will always be Tucker Jenkins for me

And the apple cake and tea sounds much better than the offerings at the Cesspit of the Universe AKA Wembley. I wasn’t hungry but Joe was so we queued for 25 minutes for a hotdog and a beer for him. £9.50 for the hot dog and £6.99 for a lukewarm can of Budweiser. The hotdog was just a standard sausage in a roll, nothing special. I’d have starved before I paid that much.

Nice touch by United though to put a scarf on everyone’s seat. Of course some have ended up on EBay and I’ve been watching them to see how much they’ve sold for, two sold on one day auctions for £102 and £104

What an absolute p*ss take of prices!

Bet some eBay scarf buyers are regretting splashing their cash after yesterday's performance!

[Ally]

Thanks for your posts Ossie and I'd certainly never find them boring or repetitive.

Great read...and good luck with your food battle.
(I don't like the word diet. )

[cromwell]

Blackfield & Langley hail from Fawley way, alongside Southampton Water. They’re probably best known this season for having their goalkeeper Connor Maseko sent off for attending to a call of nature behind a bush during an FA Cup tie with Shepton Mallet, which was, amongst other things, a violation of FA Rules.

Only in England!

Your honesty with MrsO is to be commended; I still think you're a hero braving the weather, and richly deserve the odd steak pie or bacon roll!

[TheOstrich]

As I mentioned upthread, Ossie is slightly limiting his footie posts at this latter end to the season in order to avoid “hesitation, deviation or repetition” as they used to say on “Just A Minute” , and thus boring his audience. The bird gets very worried about these things and fears he’ll be cancelled if he gets too stale, despite the fact I keep on telling him that (1) Strictly’s still going despite being well past its sell-by date and (2) if he wants to be less stale, he should try washing his fevvers more often.

One interesting (non-football) thing that has happened recently is that out of the blue, I received a phone call from my S in Birmingham, saying that a couple from my past were trying to contact me - however, I’d never heard of them! Hmmmm. What eventually transpired was that the wife of an old acquaintance Mrs O and I knew from the 1970’s had apparently died on New Year’s Day from cancer - and I was named as an Executor in her will! The people trying to contact me were the other Executors. I had absolutely no knowledge whatsoever that I’d been so appointed!

When we originally moved South-West back in the 1980’s, we did keep in touch with our old friend, and had him to stay over a couple of times, but like all relationships, it eventually devolved down to an annual Christmas card. When we moved back to Brum in the 2000’s, we renewed our acquaintance on a casual basis, and we met him, his wife and their son on a couple of occasions. But he was suffering from Parkinson’s, then dementia , and passed away about six years ago. We had no further contact with the wife, so all this came completely out of left field, as the saying goes!

I have no knowledge of the wife’s affairs, and as she and the other Executers were all Birmingham-based, I thought it best to bow out of the proceedings as rapidly as possible, especially once I learnt that they were not proposing to use a solicitor in the winding up of the Estate . OK, you don’t have to; indeed, you don’t even have to claim Probate unless there are tax ramifications to the Estate, or certain financial institutions like National Savings demand to see Probate before releasing funds. In the event - I mention it in case it ever happens to you - it is straightforward to download and complete a Deed of Renunciation form PA15 from the High Court (Family Division) and send a copy to the other Executors, effectively giving up your Executorship. That I’ve now done. But it does rather beggar the question - how many other people might have named you in a will and not told you!

So, a round-up of March footie fixtures. In the event, I’ve rather concentrated on rugby games, because as the season has unfolded, it’s become clear that my five local Level 6 (that’s the Regional 2 divisions) clubs were all relegation fodder - so I’d better use my time to knock off as many of my unseen teams at this level as possible! In the event, Sherborne and Frome have been duly relegated back to Counties-level rugby, Chard went into their last league fixture with the drop still a mathematical possibility but in the event survived, and Salisbury and Trowbridge managed to finish lower mid-table.

On 11th March, Sherborne entertained Teignmouth in a match they crucially had to win - and lost 17-36 . Results elsewhere went against them, and that defeat confirmed that they’d finish bottom of the table. A week later, Trowbridge hosted Gloucester-club Matson, who were already confirmed Divisional Champions. It was a poor game with Matson simply going through the motions and grinding out a 17-31 win.

All the entertainment, however, was on the adjacent pitch where Trowbridge 2nds were playing Avonvale in a Level 7 game . Trowbridge kicked off, Avondale looked at the ball as if they had no conception as to what it was , Trowbridge took possession and their no.21 beat off two very half-hearted tackles and went in under the posts ! Conservatively, I reckon that the time was 10 seconds from kick-off, possibly less, and certainly the fastest try I’ve ever seen.

Outraged, Avonvale were level in 4 minutes, and completely out of sight by the 20 minute mark . Trowbridge had no answer to sharp incisive running, especially down the wings; the home team’s tackling was pretty much non-existent, but two or three of the away side really caught the eye, especially their skilful full-back, and their kicker who was flawless . 7-35 up at the interval, Avonvale continued to turn the screws right until the end , although Trowbridge did manage a couple of unconverted tries of their own in the last 20 minutes, the final score being 17-68! Exhilarating stuff and far more watchable than the game on the main pitch .

Finally, last Saturday, already-relegated Frome were at home to third place Thornbury, another Gloucestershire club. Although nothing was at stake, it was an unexpectedly feisty affair, Thornbury’s somewhat over-robust play leading to a lot of penalties against them for going over the top; this also led to three home players being injured in the first half (one with a head wound needing an eight minute halt to the game ), and inevitably, increasingly- escalating handbags , which the referee sensibly clamped down on in the second half with three players (2 Frome, 1 Thornbury) yellow-carded. Frome were in with a shout, trailing only 19-24 for most of the second half, but Thornbury scored a final try in the last few minutes to put the game out of their reach.

And just one soccer match to mention - a rare mid-week excursion to Wincanton to see Town take on Shirehampton in the Western League Division 1. This was 5th v 6th, with a promotion play-off place up for grabs; Wincanton, who have a long-throw “specialist”, won a very hard-fought contest 3-2 which could have gone either way. So advantage the Winkies at the moment - but I see the reverse fixture still has to be played!

[cromwell]

Be a different matter if somene actually left me some money in their will! I wouldn't mind that.
Poor Sherborne.
I've never seen a try scored as quickly as that either Os. Much good it did Trowbridge in the long run though.
Wincanton, more known for horse racing than football. Great report as ever Os.

[Kaz]

Blimey Ossie, I’ll bet that came as a shock To be honest I can’t see anyone naming me as an executor, admin of any kind has never been my thing

By the way your posts are always interesting and fun to read. Keep ‘em coming!

[Ally]

Never fear about your lengthy posts Os.

It's my Monday ritual to settle with my coffee and have a good read.

And this latest one proves my point.

[Kaz]