A teeny bit of a quandry - would appreciate your thoughts

[meriad]

I live in a block of four maisonettes - 2 upstairs and 2 downstairs. Sadly both neighbours next door (upstairs and downstairs) have cancer and aren't doing overly well. C (upstairs) is mid 50's and used to always be busy. A (downstairs) is elderly and generally always been 'weaker' for want of a better word. Anyway

C has family that live really close, his ex-wife is across the green, his ex-MIL across the road (they get on really well) and a son and daughter both in the same village where we are.
A on the other hand has absolutely no-one. I gather she may have a niece or nephew somewhere but no contact with them so she really is alone. She's always taken pride in her garden etc but always paid someone to do it for her because she couldn't. Sadly she can be a rather narrowminded person and she's alienated a number of people she used to pay to do work for her and they no longer are interested. So I've offered to mow her front garden for her whenever I do mine. BUT ... on the other side of the footpath is a narrow(ish) strip of lawn - say about 1m wide that belongs to C. He used to be so pedantic and keep the lawn really short and tidy but he just can't do anything anymore. His son has come over once to mow but that's it. Now - I really would like to (actually make that NEED to) mow A's lawn tomorrow before the garden recycling is collected but I feel bad if I don't also mow C's side. But equally, whilst not a lot of lawn it does add 15 or so mins to the job, more use of my lawnmower and charging of batteries etc and realistically I just cannot take on another neighbours lawn, small as it is (as it is, I already mow the lawn for upstairs because she has no equipment etc, but that's another story) and C does have two VERY capable children who really should be doing more.

Anyway - question is.... do I or don't I? It seems really petty if I don't, but equally I don't want to set a precedence


Sorry long ramble but I'm really in a dither

[JanB]

Just do it Ria, you know it makes sense.

It can be sorted out later, when you speak with various family.

[Workingman]

Ria, I live in a similar type of property, two upstairs and two down, the difference is we call them "homes" not flats or maisonettes. We have ground staff so gardens are not a problem, but we all share the other things: putting bins out; clearing paths; sharing washing lines, those sorts of things.

We don't have a rota, it's all ad hoc. Whoever is about does it, and it works for us.

You do not mention those below you. If you are B then what part do D play? Are your grounds open plan or dedicated? Can you not get together and have a sort out? Can you not have a pot where everyone chips in a few bob to help out those who do the majority of the work with their costs?

If / when the pot builds up you could all get together and have tea and cakes on the lawn. At this time of year, G, next door and on the same level as me. often puts up a gazebo and we have a 'Jacob's meet' every now and then.

[meriad]

Frank, it's four very separate gardens - nothing communal about them at all and so far it's always been everyone looks after theirs and only theirs, well esp as far as C and A are concerned
Jan, you are right.... I'll do it tomorrow as a once off but make sure I nab the 'kids' and have a word

[JanB]

Good girl, you'll feel better knowing it's done and then it will get sorted.

[Workingman]

Ria, it was just a query, good luck with it all.

[miasmum]

I agree with Jan and I know you will feel better having done it. Also it gives you the upper hand in any forthcoming discussions with the family

Well done on being such a lovely neighbour xx

[cruiser2]

Ria,

I would do it once. Take photos before and after mowing. Just say you will do it again if they contribute to the cost.

I take a paper each day to a neighbour. She is my age and still active. But I don't speak to the neighbour in the houses either side of me. One thinks he can park his
car and van anywhere and the other has a big bush growing inthe front garden so you cannot look up the crescent.

[Kaz]

I think I would just do it, as much to stop myself worrying about it as for any other reason xxx

[meriad]

Well, that's all done and C is extremely grateful - so I'm glad I did it; and I just will be doing both going forward.
And just in time - as I was wheeling the lawnmower back home the garden waste truck was 3 houses up the road

heartbreaking really - C came out to chat; he used to be able to do so much and now struggles to get up the stairs or walk any distance more than 20m. Such a horrible horrible disease