Fifty Sheds of Grey

[Rodo]

The novel “Fifty Shades Of Grey” has seduced women – and baffled Blokes.

Now, Fifty Sheds Of Grey, offers a treat for the men.

The book's author Colin Grey recounts his love encounters at the bottom of the garden.

Here are some extracts...

Fifty "Sheds" Of Grey

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We tried various positions – round the back, on the side,

up against a wall. in the end we came to the conclusion

the bottom of the garden was the only place for a shed.

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She stood before me, trembling in my shed.
“I’m yours for the night,” she gasped, “You can do whatever you want with me.”

So I took her to the Garden Centre.

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She knelt before me on the shed floor and tugged gently at first, then

Harder until finally. I moaned with pleasure.

Now for the other boot.

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Ever since she read THAT book, I’ve had to buy all kinds of ropes,

Chains and shackles. She still manages to get into the shed, though.

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“Put on this rubber suit and mask,” I instructed, calmly.
“Mmmm, kinky!” she purred.
“Yes,” I said, “You can’t be too careful with all that asbestos in the

Shed roof.”

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“I’m a very naughty girl,” she said, biting her lip. “I need to be

Punished.” So I invited my mum to stay for the weekend.

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“Harder!” she cried, gripping the workbench tightly. “Harder!”
“Okay,” I said. “What’s the gross national product of Nicaragua ?”

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I lay back exhausted, gazing happily out of the shed window. Despite

My concerns about my inexperience, my rhubarb had come up a treat.

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“Are you sure you can take the pain?” she demanded, brandishing Stilettos.
“I think so,” I gulped.

“Here we go, then,” she said, and showed me the receipt.

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“Hurt me!” she begged, raising her skirt as she bent over my Workbench.
“Very well,” I replied. “You’ve got fat ankles and no dress sense.”

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“Are you sure you want this?” I asked. “When I’m done, you won’t be

Able to sit down for weeks.”

She nodded.

“Okay,” I said and put the three-piece suite up for sale on eBay.

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“Punish me!” she cried. “Make me suffer like only a real man can!”
“Very well,” I replied, leaving the toilet seat up.

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[Kaz]

"Hurt me!” she begged, raising her skirt as she bent over my Workbench.
“Very well,” I replied. “You’ve got fat ankles and no dress sense.”

[molly]

Brilliant

[Aggers]

The best laugh today.

[TheOstrich]

Hilarious ...

[JoM]

[Workingman]

I slowly manoeuvred her into the shed and touching her softly in places she had never been touched before gently removed her flimsy white.....

"When you have finished with that new bloody lawnmower," screamed the wife "the compost needs turning."

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

The whole thread is so funny.

[Ally]

These had me LOL Rodo.