Doctors' Comments On Patient Charts

[Kaz]

1 - "She has no rigors or shaking chills, but herhusband states she was very hot in bed last night."

2 - "On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely."

3 - "The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993."

4 - "Discharge status: Alive but without permission."

5 - "Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful."

6 - "The patient refused an autopsy."

7 - "The patient has no past history of suicides."

8 - "Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital."

9 - "Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days."

10 - "Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch."

11 - "Examination of genitalia reveals he is circus sized ."

12 - "She is numb from her toes down."

13 - "While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home."

14 - "The skin was moist and dry."

15 - "Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches."

16 - "Patient was alert and unresponsive."

17 - "She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce."

18 - "I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy."

19 - "The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead."

20 - "Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities."

21 - "Skin: Somewhat pale but present."

22 - "Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen, and I agree."

23 - "By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart stopped, and he was feeling better."

24 - "The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed."

25 - "When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room."

26 - "Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing."

27 - "The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him."

28 - "The patient expired on the floor uneventfully."

[Diflower]

[Paddypix]

[Aggers]

Those really made me laugh.

Thanks.

[Workingman]

[Kaz]

You are very welcome Aggers xxx

[JoM]